Unexpected Truths
by MzGG
Summary: after 1.13. she was never supposed to run off to france. she was never supposed to be a coword. but she was never supposed to die in childbirth, either... C/B
1. Chapter 1

**Important: **This doesn't mean I'll abandon my story "Hamptons to Forget" the next chapter is half written yet, and I think it gonna be a long one, so no worries there ;)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl, or the characters, I only claim Audrey :D

**Summary:** Takes place after 1x13. Blair left for France and died in childbirth, 15 years later her daughter gets a letter and finally gets the hunch, which will make it possible to find her father.

**Thank you: **Kay (TheLiesWeTellForLove) for her beta-ing and the amazing story title :)

**Prolog:**

"Stay! Don't let some stupid scandal make you run away like it did me, like it does everyone in our world. Stay and fight- I'll fight with you", Serena van der Woodsen promised her best friend , her hand were shaking, she didn't know if it was because of the coldness or because she was afraid, that her best friend could abandon her.

"I can't. Everything is horrible, my whole life is falling apart", Blair responded, though she tried hard to fought the tears, that were burning in her eyes, he failed.

"Then rebuild it, it can be done. I should know", Serena gripped Blair's arm, as she would kidnap her, just to make her stay.

"Yes, Serena, but you are strong and beautiful, everyone forgave you the minute you came back, even me… but I'm not in the condition to stand up and fight for myself, not again. I'm tired S, so please don't be me to stay because I can't and I won't."

She felt the tears streaming down her face, nobody but Serena had ever seen her like this and he would do anything, so I could stay that way.

"B, I'm here for you. You do not have to leave, you're a Waldorf, remember? People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Stay and fight, we will get through this together…"

"No Serena, I CAN'T for heavens sake!" Blair tried to turn away but Serena gripped her shoulders and made her look up. She searched in her eyes for the answers Blair didn't want to say out loud, that were sealed behind her lips.

"Blair, what is wrong? This is not about the dethroning, this is not about Jenny, not about those hypocrites, I can tell. So what is this about?"

Serena was sure, that this wasn't about Blair's downfall, that there was something else, Blair wasn't the type of girl, who run away she was a fighting spirit, it was hard to take her down and once she was down, she stood up again; she was just like a tumbler.

So there had to be something that was worse than all the things Blair got through.

"Talk to me, B."

"I can't."

"Of course you can."

"No, no S, this is the one thing, I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone."

"But I'm not anyone, I'm me." Serena did not let go of Blair' hand. "You can tell me anything."

"No, I can't."

"Blair we're sisters, you are my family. No matter what you'll tell me it won't make me let go. I love you."

It was the last sentence that made Blair cry even harder, she felt to the ground, sobbed and screamed… and somewhere in between those screams Serena heard a slightly "Chuck", which was nearly drowning in all of Blair's sobs. Serena sat down next to Blair and hugged her, while stroking her hair.

"Blair, it's okay… shhh."

She tried to comfort her, but she didn't know what to do, what to say, so she just held her and let her cry.

It took very long, until Blair was able to speak again. Serena continued to stroke her hair and back and mumbled consoling words in her ear.

"So this is about Chuck?" she asked.

"Yes", Blair sobbed.

"Oh B, you love him."

It wasn't a question- it was a statement.

"I don't understand how I got to this place", Blair whispered and whispered again, as those words were her own, personally mantra.

"What did he do?" Serena interrupted her.

But Blair didn't say anything, instead she kept repeating her mantra in her head, Serena could almost hear the words because they were thought with a lot of power.

"Blair?!"

"…"

"Blair talk to me!" Serena demanded.

"He said he didn't want me anymore, compared to own of his father's sweaty old horses… made me leave" she wasn't able to make a full sentence.

"Oh B", Serena pulled her in her embrace and hold her tightly, as if she wanted to never let her go.

And maybe that was the case.

"Serena, I can't stay."

"B we can get trough…" Serena tried to interrupt, but was cut off by Blair herself.

"Let me finish! I can't stay… because of Chuck, I can't stay because of my Mom, I can't stay because of the girls… and I can't stay because… I'm pregnant."

Serena didn't say anything, she just hold Blair and let her cry. And she sat there as she was frozen, maybe she was. This couldn't be true, this couldn't be happening. Blair took the pregnancy test and it was negative, she told her that herself. But right now she was lying in her arms and confessed a pregnancy she had denied a couple of days before. Did she really lie to her? About something that important? She knew she answer… but she couldn't bring herself to be mad at Blair, she could understand, she knew how scared she must have been.

She knew that because right now she was just as scared as Blair was, scared as hell…

"We're going to get through this together", she repeated, lifted Blair up and dragged her into the helicopter. After she seated Blair as comfortable as she could she entered and strapped the both of them.

"We're going to get through this together" she said once again and gripped Blair's hand.

The helicopter took of, it was heading to France.

**Review?!**

**So do you guys think I should continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**An: Sorry this took so long, but it was not my fault, it had this ready but then fanfiction decided to turn down :(**

**Chapter 1**

"Audrey Serena Bass, where are you going?!"

The girl that was rushing down the large, mahogany stairs stopped at the middle on them and turned around. _Busted!_

"Yes?" she asked and smiled sweetly, just as if she wasn't about to sneak out.

Her smile was the perfect combination of her parent's smiles, her mother's beautiful, classy smile and her father's famous smirk- at least that was what her godmother used to tell her.

"Where are you going?" asked the woman at the top of the stairs, she was blond, tall and beautiful.

She looked at Audrey's outfit and her blues eyes widened

"And what the hell are you wearing?"

Audrey looked down at her feet and focused her favorite pair of Manolos, the classy black dress went perfect with it, sure it was pretty short, but not too short.

"I'm just heading out to meet some friends…" she lied in a kind of singsong.

The woman raised one of her perfect plucked brows and placed her hand in her hips: "Is that so?"

"Yeah…"

She crossed her fingers and hoped that her godmother wouldn't mind.

"Well, you're not heading out tonight."

Damn it!

"But why not? Please??? Tomorrow's my birthday and I really want to celebrate it with my friends and because of the family dinner tomorrow I won't be able to celebrate with them on my actual birthday… so please?"

She was nearly begging.

"You're not going."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so!"

"But I want to go", Audrey pleaded, her godmother was actually really cool, she didn't know what was wrong. "Please, it's not fair, my friends are waiting!"

"Stop complaining! Tomorrow is your birthday and I have something very special for you. So you have the choice, either you're nowhere but you bed NOW and you'll get that present tomorrow, or you're heading out and you'll won't. Make a choice."

The blond woman crossed her arms in front of her chest, she knew Audrey too well and she knew that the girl would pick the present. She was just like her parents.

Audrey grumbled and stomped on the ground. She looked at the woman with one of her famous eye glares and made her way up the stairs, her curls were waving.

"I hate you" she spitted as she stood in front of one woman who could handle her, then she ran into her room and slammed the door.

"I know you hate my right know,you'll pick up your cell and you'll call you're best friend and you'll start complaining about me, after that you'll go to bed and you won't be able to sleep because you're too excited. And tomorrow when you wake up, you'll have forgotten this whole conversation you'll love me again- you're jut like your mother", Serena van der Woodsen sighed and wiped off one single tear.

**15 years ago**

"He'll kill me," Blair Waldorf muttered.

She sat in a high-tech helicopter with her best friend seated right beside her.

"Who will kill you?"

"My dad!"

Serena chuckled and reached out to catch Blair's tears.

"He won't."

Blair looked at her in disbelief, her hazel eyes were swimming in tears.

Serena sighed.

"Well, he won't be delighted, but I don't think he'll judge you, he has no right to do that, or make you regret your decision to turn to him, he is your father, he will understand and he will be there for you. And if he judges you than tell him that this maybe wouldn't have happened if he hadn't left your mother…"

"Serena this is not his fault", Blair defended her dad.

"I know", Serena whispered, "But if he tries to convince you of something you don't want to do, then don't do it, B this is your decision. Don't do something that feels wrong. Do you understand what I mean?"

Blair flinched and tried to pull away but Serena gripped her hands even harder.

"I won't keep this child, S, I can't keep it", Blair whispered, Serena could barely understand her.

"It would destroy everything… do you think Yale would accept a teenage Mom? No this could destroy my life, please try to understand."

"Shh, Blair it's okay. Just think about it, I mean this your baby, do you really not want to keep it? Do you really want to get rid of it? And what's with Nate and Chuck? Don't you think they have a right to know?"

"Do you know whose it is?" she added.

Blair sobbed and brought her left hand to her mouth to choke those sobs.

"It… it can't be Nate's", she stuttered.

Serena stroke her back and hugged her tightly.

"Why?" she asked.

Blair couldn't breathe, it was too much, she couldn't handle anything of this own her one anymore, so she swallowed that lump, which was made of all of her fears and confessed: "He wasn't in me when… when he came."

They were silent, well not entirely silent Blair sobbed and Serena sobbed, too. At least that was what Blair thought she was doing until she noticed that Serena was actually chuckling.

"This isn't funny!" Blair screamed and hit Serena on the arm.

"I know", Serena agreed and then- "I'm sorry, but it kind of is funny… somehow."

"I hate you!" Blair cried and turned away.

"I'm sorry B."

Serena was still giggling.

"…"

"Blair, I really am sorry:"

"Don't talk to me!"

"Blair, stop sulking."

"I am not sulking", Blair sulked.

"Okay look, I just had to laugh because we finally have proof that our Mister Perfect isn't perfect at all. I'm sorry that I hurt you, but you really should talk to me, B. I'm the only one left, who will stand by you through all of this."

"Yeah, you're probably right", Blair sounded so small and vulnerable, as it would take just one thing to destroy her.

Serena opened her arms and Blair snuggled deep into her embrace.

"So are you going to tell Chuck?" Serena asked carefully.

Blair froze and shook her head, her curls were waving.

"No", she muttered, her voice was nearly breaking.

She looked up and as the found Serena's eyes she demanded: "And you have to promise me that –no matter what happens- you won't tell him either, that you won't tell anybody, nobody can know this Serena, not even Cabbage Patch, is that clear? Swear it Serena, I need you to promise me, that this will stay our secret, that you will keep this, from him from everyone we know, promise me!"

She was shaking Serena's shoulders and pleading, the tears were streaming down her face and as Serena van der Woodsen looked down at her broken best friend, her sister by choice, she couldn't help but promised her: "I won't tell anyone, I swear that I won't tell, I promise you that my lips are sealed."

She had a hunch that she was going to regret this…

**An:**** Did you like it or hate it? Please tell me how to go on…  
so please REVIEW?!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long, I have mid terms… :( **

**Chapter 2**

"_from the heavens to the womb  
to the heavens again  
from the ending to the ending  
never got to begin  
maybe one day we can meet face to face  
in a place without time and space  
happy birthday"_

_-Happy Birthday; Flipside_

„Happy Birthday Audrey", she whispered to herself. She had turned off all the lights in her room and now she sat on her bed, her sheets stripped around her, a single white candle in front of her.

She held an old photo in her hands and looked down at her 16 years old mother, a mother she had never met. She had been beautiful, with hazel eyes and ruby lips. She smiled genuinely in the camera. Next to her stood Serena, she was the exact opposite with light blond hair and deep blue eyes, but somehow they were equals, they were best friends, they were sisters by choice.

The digits of her alarm-clock changed. They welcomed a new day, her 15th birthday, she lived for 15 years, it was a day to celebrate, but it always stood in the shadow of another anniversary. Her mother died 15 years ago; Blair Cornelia Waldorf had been a strong, beautiful young woman, barely 18 years old, when she died in childbirth.

The door opened nearly soundless.

"Audrey?" Serena asked into the shadows.

"Yes?"

Serena felt her way to the bed and sat down next to Audrey.

"Happy Birthday", she whispered.

Audrey kept silent.

"Sweetheart?"

"Was she happy?" Audrey wanted to know.

Serena frowned. What was she supposed to tell her? The truth? The whole said story? Or should she just keep silent about it all.

"Audrey, we had this conversation a million times, she was happy and she loved you more than anything."

"Tell me more! You never tell me anything about her, but I want to know every single detail. I'm not a child anymore; I have a right to know."

Serena sighed and started a story, which was just a poor-copy of an eventful part of Blair's life.

"She was the queen bee at our school, she was so popular, every girl wanted to be like her and every boy wanted to date her. She was a whole lot more than my best friend, she was my sister, and with our families we needed each other. We also fought a lot, but no matter how hard we tried we couldn't stay mad at each other for long. It didn't take long at all, for us to make up.

There were also a few other girls, we called them "the girls of the steps" because we always met at the steps of the Met, but they weren't our real friends, they were wrong and when something happened and we needed them, they let us fall.

That's the reason you should be careful who you call a friend, real friends are those who stand by your side no matter what you're going trough and they'll always believe in you and your friendship and not in some gossip.

Oh and then there were was Chuck and Nate, they were best friends,and they were true friends. The four of us called each other the "Non Judging Breakfast Club" because we got through anything together, without judging and complaining." Serena stopped because she didn't know how to go on.

"They never showed up for her funeral nor when she was in the hospital, did they? I saw photos of both those days and they aren't one a single one of them… if they were her true friends, then why haven't they been there?" Audrey asked confused, and Serena finally understood that she had been right, she wasn't a little girl anymore, she was so smart and she was old enough to understand, but she wasn't the person, who could tell her everything.

She didn't even knew what to say, how to explain, why Blair's so called "best friends" never showed up in her time of need.

"They didn't know, she didn't told them, she didn't want them to see her like that, so she ran away without even saying goodbye and they didn't know about it, until it was too late", she tried to explain.

"Why didn't she tell them?"

"Because she knew…"

"Knew what?"

"She knew she was going to die…"

**15 years ago**

"Miss Waldorf?" a nurse in a white hospital gown made her way towards Blair.

"It's your turn."

Blair nodded, stood up, gripped Serena's hand and pulled her with her.

"I'm scared", she whispered as they exited the waiting room and went in one of the exam rooms.

"You don't have to be."

Serena took a seat right next to Blair and didn't let go of her hand.

They waited and waited, well they maybe waited about two minutes but I felt, like they were waiting for more than an eternity.

"Miss Waldorf, how are you?" with those words the doctor finally entered the room.

"Doctor Rose", she greeted him low. "I'm fine, kind of tired all the time, but it's okay."

"That's normal", he told Blair.

"We have your results", he added. "Is your father here as well?"

Blair nodded and her eyes wined, they were asking a soundless question.

"He's sitting in the waiting room", she mumbled hesitant.

"Maybe he should join us then, Miss van der Woodsen, would you mind getting him?"

"No, not at all."

Serena stood up and left the room.

Blair's father had taken the news surprisingly well, he was glad Blair had turned to him and that she had decided to keep the child, he even kept Eleanor way when she tried to talk Blair and convince her into getting an abortion. He had said that he wished that Blair would have gotten pregnant few years later, but that he would be there for her, he and Roman did everything for Blair. That made Blair's life a whole lot easier.

Right now he sat in the waiting room, he said he would be there for his daughter, but he was aware of the fact that she needed to do some things without his help. She was legally grown up and she was old enough to get along by herself, that didn't meant he hadn't an eye on her, while he wasn't with her.

"Harold?" Serena asked and told him that he was supposed to come with her.

As they stood in front of the door and Harold knocked slightly, she felt her cell phone vibrating in her pocket; she looked at the ID "Chuck".

She pointed Harold to go ahead as Doctor Rose answered the door.

"What of "Leave us alone" is too difficult for you to understand?" she answered the call.

"Serena?" Chuck lulled.

"Oh my, drunken Chuck again. Do you like your little hobby? Does it satisfy you? Do you feel complete while you're drunk?"

"No, not at all. How is she?"

"No comment."

"Please, let me speak to her", her soon-to-be stepbrother pleaded.

"Wow Chuck Bass is actually asking for something. But NO, you've done already; she doesn't want to speak to you. All she wants to do, is to forget and to move on, that's the only thing you two should be doing together, I'm speaking of moving on, I think that's the best for all of us."

There was silence at the other end of line and Serena felt somehow guilty.

"Chuck?"

"Mmh…"

"How are Eric and Mom?"

"They're worried", Chuck answered honestly. "They can't understand why you're wasting all your time in France and honestly I can't understand it, either."

"You don't have to understand it. You don't know the whole story", she sighed.

"Then tell me the whole story", he demanded.

"No Chuck, I can't tell you." She said, but all she wanted to do at this very moment was tell him to get his fucking ass up and come over to France because she didn't know how much longer she could handle Blair all by herself.

"Just leave us alone and tell Mom and Eric I say hi", she added.

She was about to hang up, when she heard him saying," "Will you come for the wedding?"

"Wedding? They set a date?"

"Yeah", he lulled, "the wedding of the season, which will unite both our families, will take place in three months."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she screamed.

"Because you told me to leave you alone, besides Lily has called Harold, but somehow he wasn't answering his phone… so will you come?"

"Will you bring her with you?" he asked low.

"Chuck you're showing weakness and no I don't think we'll make it."

"Take care", she said while shutting her cell.

"Oh god", she whispered to herself, this was too much at the same time and she felt overwhelmed, usually she turned to Blair if she felt that way, but Serena had a feeling that Blair was overwhelmed herself.

"Damn!" she yelled.

She entered the room after pulling herself together.

She closed the door behind her and turned around, but immediately stopped in her movements when she saw what was happing inside of the room.

Blair lay in her father embrace, sobbing.

"What is it? What happened?"

Serena knelled down beside Blair and stroked her curly hair.

"What happened?" she repeated afraid.

Blair didn't answer, maybe she just couldn't, maybe it was hard enough to breath for her, but maybe she just didn't want to. Whatever the reason was, Blair didn't tell her, so Serena looked up at Harold, who was holding his daughter and his eyes looked red themselves, as if he was about to cry.

"What happened? What did the doctors say?" Serena asked him.

First it seemed, like Harold wasn't capable to speak, either but then after a long, long while he finally opened his mouth.

"They said there might be complications; they said she could die."

--**please review---**

**Any suggestions where the story is going?**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I am so sorry this took so long and I haven't even replied to everyone yet… I am so sorry! I'll do it know. By the way I loved your sweet words please keep them coming :) I know this is very short but I have exams and I am so proud that I wrote something at all.  
**

**Chapter 3**

"There are people dying

If you care enough for living

Make it a better place you

And for me"

-Michael Jackson; Heal the World

"She knew she was going to die?" Audrey asked confused.

"Yes", Serena answered low, her voice was about to break.

"But how could she know that?"

"The doctors told her…"

"They what?!"

Serena sight slightly and inhaled deep, as if the air included the words she was searching for.

""They told her that… that if she wanted to have you… she could pay with her own life."

Audrey's head was spinning; it was like her world had been turned upside down. She had always blamed herself for her mother's death; she always had listened to the sneaky voice in her head which whispered "you're a monster", she couldn't bland it out, no matter where she went, what she did, or how hard she tried.

"So it's my fault… I always knew that, even though no one admitted it, I always knew. I always knew… but it's hard to work it out."

Serena gripped Audrey's shoulders and shook her soft.

"No. Audrey, she loved you, she loved you, more than anything else, and she even loved you more than her own life. She knew that they're might be complications and she had the choice- she chose you, no matter what.

So don't blame yourself, Audrey because there is no one to blame.

She wouldn't want that. Look, she wanted you to be happy, so try to be happy- not just for yourself, but for me and her as well", Serena stroke over Audrey's hair, which had exactly the mahogany colour that Blair's hairs used to have.

"For you?" Audrey asked slightly sobbing.

"Yes."

"But why?"

Serena sighed and looked away. She focused the shadows at the wall, the single candle in front of her was able to bring at least some light into the darkness of the room and Audrey was able to bring at least some love into the emptiness of Serena's heart. Her heart that made his last beat with Blair's one, her heart stopped when her best friend died; died because of her.

Her heart was filled with nothing but emptiness since she killed her. Serena meant what she had told Audrey; at least she meant the most of it. It wasn't Audrey's fault, that was true, but she had lied when she had said there was no one to blame, there was someone responsible;

Serena Celia van der Woodsen.

Blair hadn't wanted to get the baby, it was Serena who persuaded her, and it was her who killed Blair. No one but herself was to blame.

She focused again on the shadows at the wall and drew her own "perfect shadow picture" in her head. She just erased herself and drew Blair's petit figure into her family portrait.

She thought about that a moment, no it wouldn't be like that, she forgot someone.

She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to remember a person, she hadn't seen in ages.

But Chuck Bass was hard to forget, maybe it was even impossible.

Serena knew Chuck loved Blair, all the drunk dialing calls he had given her. All the apologies, she had never told Blair about.

He would have been there, he would have fought for Blair, and he would have won, not the battle but the price; her heart.

"_That's the way it should have been", _she murmured to herself.

"What should have been?" Audrey asked; still confused.

"Nothing, sweetheart", Serena whispered and lay down beside her.

She ripped her arms around Audrey and they drove off to sleep.

"Nothing at all."

**15 years ago**

"S? You love, don't you?" Blair asked Serena.

They were sitting in lovely café right next to the Eiffel Tower and enjoyed the beautiful view of Paris.

Serena sipped at her orange juice and joked: "How do you know that? Actually I'm only in France because I like the climate that much."

Blair tried to chuckle but Serena felt that she was about to cry.

"Hey", she gripped her hand and stroke with her thumb over the back of Blair's hand.

"What is it?"

"You love, don't you?" Blair repeated her voice was weak and about to break.

"Yes", Serena whispered, "I love you, Blair. You're my sister, how couldn't I?"

"The question is how can you…, but that is beside the point. If it's true what the doctors say, if they're will be complications… if I'll die, than please take care of the baby. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes, I'll do. But it won't be necessary because you won't die. We will get through this together, B; like we always do.

"There something else", Blair said low and looked away.

"Name it."

"Do you remember what you promised on the flight?"

"No, I don't", Serena lied; she knew exactly what Blair wanted to say.

"You swore that you wouldn't tell Chuck about me about the baby about anything that includes both of us. You need to keep that promise, no matter what happens. I don't want him, to get near the baby, at least not yet.

I don't want him to hurt it, he has to grow up first and I'm not sure he ever will. You promise?"

"I promise it", Serena whispered. "But that doesn't change the fact that you won't die, Blair. You have to promise me something, either; promise me you will fight, you'll fight as hard as you can so you can raise your child yourself. Promise me, you'll do your best."

"I promise", Blair buried her face in her arms.

She raised her head again and looked Serena straight in the eye.

"You'll love the baby, just as much as you love me, won't you?"

Serena smiled a sad smile and said: "I surely will."

"_I know someone who'd love it more than I ever could"_, she whispered to herself.

"What did you say?" Blair asked confused.

"Nothing", Serena replied, "Nothing at all."

**TBC**

**Review? Please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for your sweet reviews they totally made my day!**

**_Crystal: _**Serena never told Blair about Chuck's calls because every time she tried to talk to her she didn't want to, and she was upset, so Serena decided to keep silent about Chuck's calls and to never say his name, when Blair was around... I hope it's understandable, she'll explain herself in another chapter because Chuck wants to know why she never told him about Blair being pregnant and the complications...

_**bxscinderella: **_ Thank you so much, i'm glad you liked it and i really updated quickly, don't you think? :)

**And because of the many reviews I decided to write today even though I am actually supposed to learn for my English exam, oh my^^ but you could call writing in English practicing…can't you?**

**Happy readings!

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 4**

„Audrey, hurry up. Harold and Roman will be here any minute!" Serena shouted.

"Give me two minutes", came the answer from upstairs. Audrey, who was still dressed in nothing but a white towel and with wet curls ran out of her room and to the balustrade, "Where is my necklace?" She screamed.

"I don't know those are your things, you have to look after them yourself!"

Audrey came down the stairs and stopped in front of Serena, and then she rolled her eyes.

She pointed at Serena's head. "I do. I found it anyway."

"Yes? Where is it?" Serena asked sarcastically. She looked around, raised the carpet a few centimetres and looked under it. "I don't see it. Audrey, we've talked about this, don't lie to me, you can tell me anything, I won't be mad, at least not that much."

Audrey shook her head and tried hard not to laugh, "I am not lying; I found it."

"Really? Where is it?" Serena wanted to know.

Audrey pointed soundless in her direction. Serena turned around, looked at the floor turned around again and looked at Audrey in a very concerned way.

"Audrey, do you feel well?"

"I'm fine. I wonder if **you** feel well…"

"Why?" Serena asked confused.

"Because you're wearing my necklace", Audrey answered dry.

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I'm not."

"Take it off."

"I will not, this is my necklace."

"Just take it off, and we'll see."

Serena rolled her eyes and said: "Fine, I don't know what you want to see but if it means that much to you…"

She took the necklace off and handed it to Audrey.

"So what are you searching for?" she asked the girl.

Audrey turned the necklace around, handed it back to Serena and said, "This", while she pointed at a tiny engraving.

"_AB"_

"What does this mean?" Serena wanted to know.

"Well I think the A is for Audrey and the B maybe for Blair? I don't know, Grandpa gave it to me when I turned 13, don't you remember? He said that Mom used to love bracelets and butterflies; there's a butterfly next to the B. He told me, that she wanted him to get me this necklace for my 13th birthday; it's one of a kind. And he also said, that I'll get another necklace when I'm older, maybe it's this year…" she told Serena excitedly.

"Yeah, maybe it means that."

"Do you think it means something else?"

"I have no idea", Serena mumbled hesitate.

"I think you should go and get ready", she changed the subject.

Audrey chuckled and looked down at her towel, "You're probably right."

Then she ran up the stairs, always taking two steps at once.

After a half minute she rushed down the stairs once again, "I think that's yours", she said while handing Serena another necklace quite similar to the one she just got back.

"Yes, it is."

"There's a LB engraving on the inside… what does it mean?" Audrey asked excited about the B.

"Lily Bass, that's my mother."

"Why do you have it then?"

"Because I haven't seen my family in a very long time and she gave it to me, so I would always remember her. We must have swapped the necklaces by mistake."

"Why don't we visit your family? That would be fun…"

"I don't think that's a good idea… and now VITE, VITE, hurry up."

Audrey laughed hard and made her way up the stairs again.

Serena didn't laugh, maybe because she was sad about her family being so far away or maybe because she knew exactly what AB meant.

_Audrey Bass_

_

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_

"Granddad!" Audrey squealed as she rushed trough the hall to great Harold and Roman.

Harold embraced her tightly and spun her around and after he put her down to earth he held his back.

"Of, you're getting to tall, Mademoiselle."

"Well, you're my Superman, you'll spin me around when I'm 80", Audrey joked.

"Hello Roman, we missed you" she welcomed the other man and kissed him on the cheek.

"Audrey, you look lovely as always. I've got to say you're the image of your mother."

Audrey, Harold and Serena smiled a sad smile.

"Thank you."

"So where are my presents?" Audrey asked and looked over Harold's shoulder as if he had hidden her presents behind his back.

"Excuse her, she's still a kid", Serena said a bit embarrassed but glad Audrey had changed the subject.

She opened the dining room door.

"First Dinner; than presents."

Audrey mumbled something that sounded like_ "spoilsport" _and_ "but I want them now!". _

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Audrey didn't eat much, she was too excited. Her grandfather usually brought her some extra-ordinary presents and most of them had belonged to her mother.

"Serena, shouldn't we get her the presents?" Harold asked. "She hasn't eaten anything, yet."

"Well, she ate a little but you're probably right. Audrey, do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" Serena asked slightly smiling.

"Yes!"

"Then eat now…"

"Ugh", Audrey rolled her eyes.

Harold leaned over the table and took Serena's hand. "Blair would be so proud of you."

"Thank you", Serena whispered.

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"Presents?" Audrey asked after Roman ate his last piece of Sorbet.

"Yes", Serena couldn't help but smile. She remembered her birthdays she'd never been that excited, she had had everything she wanted, anyway, she hadn't needed to wait until her birthday to get something she wanted, but Audrey was always excited. Even though she was 15 years old now, she was excited like a 5 years old, that was because with every year she grew older she also got a thing which had belonged to Blair, a mirror, a cabbage patch or a book. It didn't matter what it was, she always squealed and didn't let go of it, for the next hours.

"This year I have something very special for you", Harold told her.

"What is it?"

"Something your mother gave me before you were born."

He remembered that day so well, as it had been yesterday.

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**15 years ago**

"Daddy?" Blair asked as she knocked on the door of her father's private library.

"Yes, sweetheart?" the answer came immediately.

"Can I come in?" she already opened the door.

Her father sat in a black, comfort leather armchair by the chimney.

He smiled. "Sure."

"Um, I have to talk to you", she started.

"It's about the baby, isn't it?"

Blair looked down on the floor. "Yes, you know me well."

"First I want to thank you, you've been so understanding lately and you never judged me through all of this."

He took her hand and hold it tightly, but not too tight, just the right kind of tight.

"Blair, you're my daughter. I love you. And I'll love your baby; it's a part of you."

"But you're so different than Mom and I'm her daughter, as well. Just know that I am really thankful, but I made a decision… if it's true what the doctors say that'll die giving birth, than I want… I want…", she couldn't finish the sentence she couldn't hurt her father after everything he did for her, she couldn't tell him that she wanted Serena to take care of the baby.

"You want Serena as the legal guardian, don't you?" Harold interrupted her.

"H-h-h how do you know that?" Blair stuttered.

"As you said, I know you well. It's a good solution, did you tell her, yet?"

Blair nodded.

"Yes, she said I won't die, but if I do then she'll take care of her, she'll finish school in France and she'll love her…"

"Her? So the doctor told you the sex?" Harold asked delighted.

"Yes", Blair smiled, "I wanted to know. It's a girl and her name is Audrey, Audrey Serena Waldorf."

"Audrey Serena Bass would have a better ring."

Blair frowned.

"But you promised…" she started.

"I promised, and I won't break that promise, I'm just saying that this is maybe your last chance to tell him, don't you want a father for your daughter?

And what if you really die; do you want her to be an orphan?"

"She won't be an orphan", Blair answered with ice in her stare and her voice, "she'll have Serena and you, and she won't even notice that I'm not there, she'll have everything she'll need. She doesn't need Chuck Bass who'll only break her heart and abandon her, no she doesn't need him and I don't want him near to her."

"Blair", her father whispered low, "think about that, a girl needs her father, it was hard for me to abandon you and leave for France and I know that you missed me, I feel so guilty about that. But do you remember when you told me how much you had missed me? Blair she'll need him, give her at least an opportunity to search for him. Tell her what happened, tell her the truth and then she'll be able to make a decision for herself. You can write a letter, if you die I'll give it to her and if you don't you can decide when she's older.

And think about him, he'll change, Serena told me he already has, she said you changed him, maybe Audrey will manage to do the same."

Blair breathed heavily in and out, she had buried her face in her hands and now she finally looked up, with tears and pain in her eyes but at least just as much resolution.

"I'll do", she said, tears running down her cheeks.

"You're right; it's not my decision to make. You'll give it to her, when she's 15, won't you?"

"I'll do", he promised her.

"Thank you, Daddy."

She was half out of the room when she turned around a last time.

"Oh and Daddy?"

She asked the man who was busy with whipping the tears off his face.

"Yes?" his voice was breaking.

"Could you tell her that I want her to get into Yale?"

Harold laughed under tears, simply nodded and watched his beautiful daughter making her way out of the room. The fire threw her shadow at the wall, yes she was beautiful and she had grace but she was also strong, she was so much more stronger than her could ever be.

He knows that when he'll enter the library tomorrow there'll be a letter on the table next to the armchair. A letter in an old, classy envelope, addressed to _Audrey Serena Waldorf_. And next to the letter will lay a simple box with a gorgeous necklace in it and in the box with the necklace will lay a piece of paper with instructions for him to buy a custom made necklace in a boutique in Paris, which his daughter ordered weeks ago.

Because after all; he really knows her well.

**TBC **

**Please Review.

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Okay, well the story will switch the setting, it'll move to NYC.

Therefore I need to know which couples you would prefer…

Do you want **Chuck& Georgina**

**Chuck&Serena**

**Serena&Nate**

**Serena&Dan**

**Dan&Vanessa**

Or **any other parings**?

**Carter&Serena**?

…

If you don't have any wishes well then **just review** to tell me that you're (not) enjoying my story and if I should continue…**please?!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Readers,**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews I was simply amazed by all of the feedback I got, so thank you! It's really hard to decide between all the lovely couples you suggested, especially about the question: Chuck-Georgina or not Chuck-Georgina… but I think I'll find a way to satisfy both sides :)

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_**Ggxxlover**_: thank you for reviewing! well I really think I'll find a way to make you happy, but I think also that you have to live with a little Chuck&Georgina first; but remember Audrey is Blair's daughter, do you really think she would accept Georgie as her stepmother? NO, she would take actions!

_**Anna:**_ The story won't change the whole subject, it's just that I want some married couples… and therefore I needed to know which ones you would prefer, but yeah I think Serena must find a sweetheart, she has taken care for Audrey for 15 years and always put her love life behind that, so I think it's time to maker her happy. LOL I really think Blair would do that, but I also think that Audrey herself would be pretty upset about Georgie as her stepmother…

_**irishgirl837:**_ Thank you so much for reviewing and your suggestion, well I think I have bad news for you… you'll see Chuck with someone else than Blair, but don't worry he won't be too happy about that, either.

_**J:**_ Thank you so much. And thanks for the suggestion, I'll keep that in mind. ;)

_**Laurienlaurie: **_Oh I definetly will. Thanks for the review and the suggestion BTW.

_**teddy bear: **_Thank you. Mhh i think you'll have to read trough some C/G parts first but don't worry that will change for sure, I can't stand them either ;)

thank you! And thanks for reviewing and your suggestions. I'll definetly think about that Dan/OC thing. BTW I finished half of the next chapter for Hamptons to Forget so sorry it takes that long.

_**Jelly: **_Thanks for reviewing and your suggestion. To the first thing: YES! And the second thing: NO! I can't just leave them out… but they'll just appear from time to time so don't worry you won't have to read too much about them ;)

_**Sammy: **_Aww, thank you SO much. Yeah I think that would be great, too.

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**Happy readings!

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**Chapter 5**

Audrey sat at her bad starring at the white envelope in front of her. Next to it laid a simple, black box but Audrey didn't care what was inside of it. She couldn't stop looking at the classy, white envelope. Her mother had written the letter that was inside of it, that was what her grandfather had told her. He mother had written it **for her**. Audrey got a few things that once belonged to her mother, but she had nothing her mother had written or done just for her and she always had thought that she'd never have. Her mother died before Audrey was old enough to understand what the word mother meant, Serena had told her about her mother, her granddad had told her about her, she saw hundred of photos but she never met her, she never heard her voice, she never knew how her handwriting looked like. And know finally she was about to learn a few of those things.

Maybe she really had loved her, maybe she hadn't hated her, maybe she hadn't blamed her…

"Maybe, maybe, maybe", Audrey whispered to herself, "I am tired of all those questions; I need answers."

She knew that she needed those answers but she wasn't so sure that she wanted them, what if the letter would tell her the things she already knew? That her mother was angry with her, for killing her… She was afraid but at the same time she knew she would never be happy if she wouldn't read it.

She breathed heavily in and out, and then ripped the envelope open with her smallest finger.

A letter felt out of it and then another envelope, she took the other envelope and read the name that was written on it.

_Chuck Bass_

Chuck Bass? Wasn't that the boy her aunt had told her about, the really good friend of her mother's? But why did she write him a letter? What was this about, why wasn't there a letter for Serena or that Nate guy?

"_It doesn't matter right now"_, Audrey told herself.

She unfolded the letter and started to read:

_

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_

My beloved daughter,

_I don't know how to start this letter, though I know clearly what I need to tell you._

_You're 15 years old now, old enough to understand what I got to tell you. _

_Oh gosh you must be so beautiful…_

_Is it strange to say "I miss you"? Because even now, that you're still in me, a part of me, I miss you because I know things are going to change._

_I love you, Audrey. That is the most important thing you need to know. I love you more than anything else._

_And I want you to know that it wasn't your fault that I died. I guess you probably feel that way because I once knew a boy whose mother died in childbirth, his father blamed him for her death and therefore he blamed himself. _

_Over the years he became bitter and lonely, he was afraid to hurt the people he loved and tried his hardest to shut them out._

_Please Audrey, do not become that way, do not blame yourself because there is no one to blame._

_It's just life; things don't always turn out the way they're supposed to be._

_I should know that, I used to plan every single detail of my life; I failed._

_You can't plan your life; I learned that the hard way. Things will go wrong and you'll fall but you shouldn't give up then, Audrey._

_Try to fight and ask for help, don't do things on your own, your friends are there to help you, so don't build walls to shut them out._

_Because these boundaries don't keep them out, they fence you in._

_Another thing I want you to know is that you should be yourself. Be the girl you want to be and don't let other people tell you who are, tell them._

_My mother used to tell me that I was a Waldorf and I had to act as one, always gracefully and I wasn't allowed to play in the slush or wear the things I wanted to wear. I had to make my mother proud, wear the things she designed. All I wanted was her to look at me the way she looked at Serena, like she was an angel, always more beautiful, thinner and happier than me._

_So I tried to be perfect and somewhere on the way from Blair to perfect I lost myself._

_I needed the help of my friends to get back to myself. I needed the help of my true friends. I was popular at school, I had lots of friends but they weren't true friends, I bet Serena told you about them, they were called "the girls of the steps" and they were faked._

_Sweetie__, search for friends who really like you and not the person they want you to be._

_I think every mother wants to teach her daughter something useful for life, well those are the things I learned._

_But there is another thing I know; I know that a girl needs her father, maybe it was a mistake to keep him away from you but trust me when I say that I wanted to protect you._

_I made Serena swear she wouldn't tell you about him, made her swear to never say his name again, to never contact him. I know she never did such a thing, she wouldn't break these promises; she is after all my best friend, my family._

_I told you about the boy who tried to shut people out because he didn't trust himself to not hurt them._

_His name is Charles Bass._

_He is Serena's stepbrother and he was a member of the Non-Judging-Breakfast-Club._

_Serena must have told you about it._

_The Non-Judging-Breakfast-Club consisted of Serena, Chuck, Nate and me. We were best friends; we were there for each other, no matter what happened until something happened that broke our connection._

_Nate and I used to date since kindergarten; we were the glory, perfect couple of our school. The king and queen of the Upper East Side and then in our sophomore year Nate and Serena got drunk, really drunk and he cheated on me. After that Serena ran away to Connecticut and went to boarding-school. _

_She never said goodbye. I was so confused, Serena__ had left, Nate acted weird and my father moved to France with another man, it was a hard time and I had no one to turn to, except Chuck, he was a pretty good friend in my time of need and soon we became quit close._

_After Serena__ had left our school I became the most popular girl there, every one wanted to be like me and my mother was simply proud of me, but that wasn't the real Blair, no one knew that I was dying inside; I began to throw up again. I had bulimia… I had had that problem years ago and all of a sudden it started again, I really tried to fight it but I wasn't strong enough, the only person besides my parents who knew about my problem was Serena and she was far away at boarding school._

_I got through this time, I don't know how but I managed to, somehow._

_Suddenly Serena came back and everything was the way it used to be but then Nate told be what had happened and I could not look at him or her anymore, they made me sick, they had lied to be, betrayed me and I couldn't trust them, anymore. _

_But when Nate told me he loved me we got back together, I made him promise to never speak with Serena again._

_After a few weeks of fighting Serena and I made finally up. Her family went through hard times, just as mine, we needed each other and I was sick and tired of fighting with the only person who ever understood me._

_A few days later I broke up with Nate, not because of Serena, she dated someone named Dan Humphrey. But because I knew he wasn't over her and that he didn't love me.__ The break-up was painful, with losing Nate; I lost my perfect future, my perfect soon-to-be engagement ring and my perfect illusions._

_All I w__anted was to forget; to escape so I met with Chuck._

_Chuck Bass was the notorious womanizer of Manhattan he never made up with a girl twice and he usually got drunk before 12 pm. _

_But he was also one of my best friends._

_I met him at Victrola, his club. And believe me or not, I got on stage and stripped. I still wore my slip so don't think something wrong._

_I finally found the girl I lost on my way to perfection, I felt free and relieved, and I didn't want to stop. Well I did after all._

_Chuck gave me a ride home and still amazed of my little striptease and the feeling it gave me I kissed Chuck._

_I didn't kiss him the way I used to kiss Nate, with Nate it was sweet but with Chuck there was passion and without thinking I lost my virginity to Chuck Bass in the back of a moving vehicle._

_When I woke up the next day, I was so confused and I regretted it, though Chuck had been really sweet and nice, I thought I'd actually love Nate and I searched for a way to get back together with him._

_When he called and said that the break up was a mistake I was so happy, in the evening there was my birthday party. I waited for him all night long until Chuck told me; Nate only wanted to get back together with me because his father wanted to make a business deal with my mother. I didn't believe him, I thought he just wanted me to leave Nate but I was wrong he told the truth. _

_I got a text from Gossip Girl, that's a girl who has fun stalking us and to post blasts on the Internet, it showed Nate with some girl._

_He promised to show up on my birthday but he didn't but he spent his time with some other girl._

_After that Chuck found me lying on a bed in a separate room. He said he wanted to salvage my birthday, he held a box in his hands._

"_What's that?" I asked. "Our sex tape?"_

_He didn't answer. He just opened the box._

_It included a beautiful necklace; I've never got something that beautiful before or after it._

"_Something this beautiful deserves to be worn of something worthy of its beauty", he told me._

_That was when we started a secret relationship._

_I was happy with Chuck, very happy. He saw the girl I really was and he didn't judge me, he wasn't Nate but I suddenly wasn't sure if I've ever truly loved Nate._

_Serena saw us and she said that I dated the wrong guy she has never been a big fan of Chuck._

_But I stayed with Chuck, he was cute and I secretly thought he really liked me._

_After we started being together, he stopped womanizing completely and he didn't drink that much, I really changed him._

_But when it was time for the Cotillion Nate asked me to go with him, for old times sake._

_Well I went with him, but I didn't have the intention of getting back together, but when I found out that Chuck had posted a Gossip Girl blast about me dating Carter Baizen I told him to stay away from me and got back together with Nate._

_I regret it now; I didn't let him explain I just took the easiest way. After I got back together with Nate Chuck left for Monaco, he didn't say goodbye__; he didn't call._

_He just disappeared. I didn't know how much I hurt him; I didn't know he really cared about me that way. I was so selfish. _

_When he came back he forced me to stay away from Nate, I just thought that he wanted to torture me, to hurt me and didn't understand that the view of Nate an__d me together nearly tore him apart._

_I didn'__t understand it until I was together with Nate, event though Chuck had told me not to, but I knew he wouldn't tell Nate about us, he was after all Nate's best friend, he wouldn't take the risk to lose his best friend by telling him about us._

_When I was with Nate I noticed the way Chuck looked at us, or the way he tried not to and I finally understood why he acted the way he did._

_But it was too late._

_Serena noticed my mood swings, I told her I was late and she bought me a pregnancy test._

_It was positive but I told her it wasn't, but she had already told her boyfriend Dan about me, she was worried and needed help and she knew that Dan would never tell anyone. Well his littler sister overheard their conversation. Meanwhile Serena went to Chuck and tried to talk to him and he told her about Nate. I hadn't told Serena that I slept with Nate because I dind't want her to judge me, I was tired of always explaining myself, so I kept silent._

_So the next morning when I told Chuck that I wasn't pregnant and that it was really over he sent a message to Gossip Girl that said I slept with two guys in one week and was perhaps pregnant.__ The Gossip Girl sent that blast to everyone who went to our school._

_The whole school gossiped about me but that wasn't the worst part, Jenny, Dan's sister, went to Nate and told him about me and Chuck._

_So at the end of the day I was friendless (Serena and I had a fight over sleeping with Nate and not telling her) and boyfriend less._

_I had no one to turn to. So I remembered the last time I had no one to turn to and I met with Chuck but he said he didn't want me anymore, so I left for France._

_I finally told Serena about the pregnancy and she came with me._

_I never contacted Chuck or Nate, though the person I needed the most was Chuck._

_When I lost him I finally understood that I loved him, more than I ever could have loved Nate._

_But it was too late, he didn't want me anymore._

_Everyday I wanted to call him, to write him but I was too afraid that he could laugh at me, tell me he didn't love me, never had. So I kept the silence, made everyone who knew about my condition promise to not tell anyone. And he never knew that I was pregnant. He had made a joke when he had told Gossip Girl about it; he never knew it was the truth._

_This is my story, the story about me and your father…_

_Chuck Bass._

_Please try to understand me, Audrey._

_And please don't judge me; I tried to do the right thing. I was too young to be wise enough to make the right decisions, maybe I even failed._

_But I had good intentions; I just wanted to protect you._

_Now it's up to you, I made my decisions, now you can make yours. _

_You can go and find you father or you can stay, hide yourself and live the life you've build. I'm not trying to make you do the one thing. I'd like__ you to find him because I hope he has changed, hopefully not too much. But I hope he is ready to be a father now._

_If you'll go to find him, the__n please give him the other letter which is in the envelope, there are some things I really need to tell him._

_The things I never told him, when I had the chance._

_And Audrey? If you're really going to find him, don't let him break your heart, it's hurts too damn much._

_Anyway, you won't live forever, Audrey. So take every chance you'll get and try to make the most of it._

_I love you, Audrey._

_Your mother_

_PS__. Please tell Serena that I love and miss her._

_PPS: I always wanted to get into Yale, so when it's time for college applications please fill in for Yale__, please Audrey, make my wish come true.

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"You loved me", Audrey whispered while she tried to whip away the tears that were streaming down her face.

"You really did."

She buried her face in her hands and just cried until she felt empty, in a good way, she felt clean and as nothing could hurt her anymore. Then she remembered the box.

She unfolded Blair's letter a last time and tried to save the picture of it in her memory, then she opened the box; in it laid a stunning necklace, it was so beautiful. It was the necklace her mother had written about; it was the necklace her father had given to her.

_Father_, she never had a real family, sure she had Serena, her granddad and Roman but she never had anyone else. And all of a sudden she had a father…

She didn't blame her mother for keeping him away, she couldn't she somehow understood as if she had experienced all the pain that he caused her herself.

And then Blair had written about her mother, Audrey's grandmother… Audrey had never met her.

"_I have another family"_, Audrey whispered, "_and I am going to met them."_

Then she stood up, went to her body sized mirror and put on some make-up to cover the red marks, she always got when she cried, she turned around, took the steps and went to the dining-room, where she heard low voices whispering with each other.

She stopped in front of the door, breathed in deeply and finally entered the room, her chin held high.

"I don't want to go shopping", she told her aunt as she entered the room, she had her voice under control, she managed to keep it stable, "I want a ticket to New York."

Then she pointed with her forefinger at her.

"And you're coming with me", she demand in best Blair Waldorf manner.

**TBC **

**Please Review!

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**

Because I was so amazed about the answers on my question which couples you'd like the most I decided to let you decide another thing.

I need two names… one for a fifteen years old boy and another one for a fourteen years old girl:

The boy is the son of Georgina and Carter… so think about something classy but evil ;)

The person who suggests the ones I like the most will get either:

-a chapter dedication

-or comments on your stories (if they are about Gossip Girl/Twilight/OTH/Mortal Instruments/Grey's Anatomy)

You can choose!

If they are really good you'll get both :)

**No please press this green button… thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7 the real one

**Dear Readers,**

**I am sorry I had to put that A/N, I actually thought I would have had the next chapter ready before I went on spring break but I failed. How can you blame me with that awful episode, Chuck and Vanessa… seriously?**

**Thank you for your amazing names suggestions you guys are awesome!

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**I am still on spring break so I am pretty busy and it will take a few days until I'll update, sorry!**

**I am sorry I hadn't time to get to your reviews yet, I'll do it immediately.**

**That means I can't review to those of you who aren't a member of fanfiction (I am so sorry!)… But I'll do it for this chapter, promise!

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**Check out the trailer I posted on YT for this story :)**

**link is on my profile!  
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****Happy readings!

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**Chapter 5**

Serena van der Woodsen wasn't a person, who was often taken by surprise; it was totally out of ordinary for her.

"You want a ticket to New York?" she asked her niece completely confused.

"Yes."

"But what do you want there?"

Audrey thought about that question for a second. What didn't she want there? Everything she was hoping for was in New York, everything she thought she'd never get was there, she had to go there, to find her father and to find herself because she didn't know who she was anymore. She finally knew how and most importantly who her parents were, she finally knew where to search for the father she'd known.

She was about to open her mouth to respond just that.

"Serena, I think I can explain", Harold raised his hand to get their attention.

"Well, I told you about the letter, which I gave to Audrey, it's from Blair, she gave it to me before… I think she explained everything to her, so I guess she wants to fly to New York to…"

"To find my father", Audrey interrupted him. "I want to meet Chuck Bass."

"Your father?" Serena asked her voice was weak.

"Yes", Audrey replied, she suddenly wasn't too sure, if she did the right thing. Her aunt sounded so sad, so confused and vulnerable.

Serena closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"So you want to meet your father?" she repeated.

"Yes?" Audrey noticed that her reply sounded like a question itself.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL THAT BASSTARD YOUR FATHER!" Serena shouted all of a sudden.

Audrey, Harold and Roman flinched back synchronous.

"Serena", Harold warned her drastic.

"No, Harold, not this time!"

"But, but you told me he didn't know", Audrey stuttered.

She wondered why her aunt was so upset, if Chuck Bass never knew that he was a father, he had never abandoned her, and he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Maybe he didn't know… so what?! He was supposed to follow her, I should have followed her! I wasn't allowed to tell him but he didn't even try to win her back, she waited for him for 15 years, I mean 9 months and he never showed up, he didn't even try to win her back!"

"Serena, is this really about Chuck and Blair, or is this about someone else?" Harold asked gently.

"Of course, this is about Blair, about whom else could this be", she cried throw her serviette at the table and ran out of the room.

"Serena!" Roman called after her.

Audrey wanted to follow her so badly but when she was on her way out Harold gripped her hand gently and didn't let go of her.

"No! Serena!" she cried.

"Audrey, let her be, she needs some space!"

Audrey turned around and faced Harold.

"You know what? I am sick and tired of all these secrets; I want answers! And I am going to get them, now!"

With that she made her way out of the room and slammed the door as hard as she could.

She knew exactly where to find her aunt. I something bothered Serena or if she just wanted to be alone for a while; she always went to the small pavilion in the garden.

"It remembers me of the Hamptons, Nate's parents used to have a pavilion like this", she used to tell Audrey when they sat in the grass next to it.

Serena lay in the grass and stared into the sky.

"You know, your mom and me, we always went to the Central Park when one of us was unhappy, or if we wanted to work something out. Chuck was completely different, he had a thing for rooftops- you're so much like him- and Nate he did run. We were different, but we were so much alike at the same time."

Audrey lay down next to her aunt and stared into the blue sky as well.

"Why are you so upset?" she asked.

"I am not."

"Yes you are. And this is not about my Mom, I can tell. So tell me, about who are you thinking?"

"You wouldn't know him anyway", Serena whispered, so low she could barely understand her own words.

But Audrey did.

"So this about a guy, huh?" Audrey smiled genuinely, and then she remembered what Blair had written about Serena.

"Is it that Dan guy?" she asked.

Serena shook her head. "No."

Then she noticed what Audrey had said.

"Wait how do you know that name? How do you about Dan?"

"My Mom told me about him in her letter, she said you two used to date before you left with her…"

"Yeah, I left him without an explanation; I left with him to go with Blair. That was right after he had told me he loved me, right after I had said it back…"

"And did you call him after you left?"

"Several times, but he didn't understand why I had to leave and I couldn't explain my reasons properly because I wasn't allowed to tell him about Blair. But I am done with him, really and for good, this isn't about him."

Audrey sat up and stared down at her aunt.

"So is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Serena chuckled and ripped out some grass.

"This is so weird, actually I should be the one who asks you about your life, who helps you to find a way through you obscure feelings and here I am listening to a 15 year old teenage girl, who is and I am sorry to say that wiser than I am. So tell me what happened to the little girl who just wanted to play with her dolls and watch Tiffany's for the 8678th time?"

Audrey laughed and punched her aunt gently against the shoulder.

"I don't know, maybe she's just around the corner… I'll go and search for her."

She stood up and walked towards the mansion.

"And Serena?"

"Yes?" her aunt asked.

"Tell me when you've figured out that this was about Nate" Audrey shouted back and pushed the doors open.

Serena remained lying there, starring at the sky and wondering what had happened to her life.

Yes, Serena van der Woodsen wasn't a person, who was often taken by surprise, it was out of the ordinary for her, but after all Audrey was Blair's daughter, nothing about her was ordinary.

When she entered the dining room again Harold and Roman were still waiting.

"Where is Audrey?" she asked them.

"She said something about dolls and that she needed to find the Audrey that was into them… I didn't really understand what she was talking about", Roman laughed and smiled brightly at her.

But Harold didn't look at her that friendly, his eyes were cold and his forehead was crimped in concern.

"I am sorry, Harold. I was upset and I spoke before I'd though. I didn't mean to hurt her or you or to mad him bad in front of her, she needs to make a picture of him herself and I won't barge in. He is my brother, though I haven't seen him like forever.

So you don't have to worry."

I understand Serena, it's just that I expected more from you, you shouldn't have said that. If you have a child you need to accept that its feelings are more important than you ones. I though you had learned that. You did such an amazing job raising Audrey, I don't think Blair herself could have made it matter but you still have to learn."

"I know, but it seems like I am not the only one who has to learn how to treat her best, if she really wants to meet Chuck I won't stop her, I would have told him 15 years ago, if Blair would have allowed me to."

"So you're flying with her to New York?"

"I am."

**TBC

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**A/N: Okay I know this was pretty short, sorry. But I had to write it so I can go on with the story line.

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**Please Review!**

**It makes me happy and a happy writer types faster!

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Oh and I am currently Beta-less :( anyone interested in the job?  
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	8. Chapter 8

Sorry this took so long. Please keep your reviews coming.

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Thank you for your amazing reviews guys some of you reviewed anonym so:

**Angel59: **I won't abandon this story; I love it too much :) I never even thought about this, yeah I am really at a critical point so if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know them. Really this is the first story you always check on? I feel honoured, truly!

**Bxscinderella: **Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel sad. And I am also sorry that this took so long, I'll update the next part as soon as possible, promise!

**Klais: **Thank you really, really much it means a lot to me.

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Happy readings!

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**Chapter 7

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**Hello Upper East Siders,**

**Long time no see. But there's just no proper gossip without our It- girls in town but what from I heard Serena van der Woodsen is back and if she is in towb her BFF Blair Waldorf isn't that far.**

**Give me the dets.**

**Xoxo Gossip Girl

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"Oh no", Serena sighed as she looked up from her cell. "How did she get my number?"

"What is it?" Audrey asked she looked around to see if there was something at the airport that might bother her aunt.

"Gossip Girl", Serena answered and handed Audrey her cell.

"That stalker you told me about?"

"Hehe, I don't think she'd like the name "stalker"."

Audrey read through the text, and then she raised an eyebrow.

"Well she can't be that good, if she doesn't know that Mom died 15 years ago, I mean isn't a stalker supposed to know everything?"

"Be glad she doesn't know it yet, she'll very soon."

"Why?"

"Because as soon as my family gets to know there'll be someone watching or someone listening and then Gossip Girl will know it either, and when she posts it on her side all of Manhattan will know about your deepest fears, your darkest secrets and they will judge you for it, they are all Hypocrites, we are all human, we all make mistakes but Gossip Girl stands on a pedestal, no one knows her, no one ever saw her but she must be perfect, mustn't she? If she can judge all of all of us, then she has no mistakes, no secrets and no own life. I fucking hate this girl!"

"Pssst", Audrey hushed, "don't say that too loud, she might hear you."

"Are you laughing at me?" Serena asked seriously.

"Nooo… I would never do that", Audrey giggled.

"Audrey, I wish I wouldn't have to say this but as soon as she knows who you are, there'll be blasts about you either, and it won't be good blasts, she'll embarrass you and everyone will know who your mother is, maybe even who you father is."

"I can handle that", Audrey said self-confidently.

"I hope you can."

"Do you think he wants to see me?" Audrey asked low.

"Well, he doesn't know you exist, but if he did, he'd love to see you, I am sure", she wasn't sure, she was everything but sure, she asked herself if she made the right decision. But Blair wrote in her letter that she wanted Audrey to meet her father, and Serena would do everything for her best friend. Yes, Blair was still her best friend, even though she died 15 years ago, there was simply no one who understands Serena like she did. Of course, they had they're differences but that what makes friendship what it is, right?

You fight, you break apart, you ignore each other, but at the end of the day, you're still there when she needs your help because she is your best friend and there is nothing that could change that fact. Sleeping with Nate couldn't do that, sleeping with Chuck couldn't do that, either, Eleanor couldn't do that (even thought she always approved Serena more than her own daughter), Georgina Sparks couldn't do it, a pregnancy scare couldn't do that and a real pregnancy just pushed them closer together, so why could death change that?

Death is not as powerful as people think, okay it is powerful but there are a couple of things that are just as or even more powerful than death, peace, friendship, love.

Because if you listen to your heart, you still hear her laughter, you can still feel her tears on your hand, the tears you wiped away so many years ago and if you really listen well you can still hear her saying: "You're my best friend, S."

And then you know, that she'll always be yours either.

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"Serena?" Audrey winked at her.

"Yes", she murmured confused.

"Are you still there?"

Serena nodded and gripped Audrey's hand. "Come on we need to hurry up or we might miss the plane."

"Hurry up", Audrey demanded as they gave up their suitcases, she imitated her aunt.

"Yeah, just wait a second", Serena mumbled, her cell-phone was vibrating.

She looked at the ID.

_Mom_

"Cell-phones are not allowed in her", the woman behind at the counter said.

"I know", Serena replied; she couldn't care less. So she turned around and answered the call.

"Mom?"

"SERENA CELIA VAN DER WOODSEN!" he mother shouted.

Serena held the cell several centimetres away from her ears.

"That's my name…" she joked.

"Why is your brother the one who tells me that you're coming back?" Lily said harshly.

"I don't know why he'd do that? But tell Eric I say; hi."

"It wasn't Eric who told me, but anyway why didn't you tell me? I'd plan a party!"

"I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to surprise you, okay."

"You know how much I hate surprises, Serena."

"No you don't. Everyone loves surprises; you just pretend that you don't like surprised but secretly you love them."

Lily laughed. "You're right, it's been 15 years, since you left and during all that time we only met briefly in Paris or Berlin and you never brought Blair with you, it's been way too long, I miss you both. I can't wait to meet her again."

Serena flinched and searched for the right words, she didn't know what to tell her mother, she just couldn't tell her what happened, this time she couldn't use her favourite excuse "I wanted to surprise you", it just wouldn't work.

"I, I, I'm afraid Blair won't make it but I'll bring someone else with me", Serena stuttered carefully.

"Oh… you're boyfriend? Did you finally meet someone? Are you engaged? Have you started to plan the wadding, yet? We could celebrate in the Palace, which would be wonderful, wouldn't it?"

"Mom, stop it. I am not engaged, I'll bring a girl with me and before you'll even start on that; no I am not a lesbian! She's only 15 years old anyway, so could you put some kids on the guest list."

"Sure, I can do that, there's that boy who'd… wait, how do you know about the guest list?"

"Mom, just because we only met briefly doesn't mean I don't know you anymore, you'd never miss an opportunity to plan a party, you're just the perfect society lady, Mom, always have always will."

"Yes, you're probably right", Lily responded she suddenly sounded sad, just as if Serena reminded her of something she was trying to forget.

"Mom, I have to go, the guards at the airport are staring at me and I have a feeling that they'll take away my cell if I won't stop using it, just one thing; who told you that I am on my way home?" she asked worriedly eying the security guards.

"Your brother, Charles told me."

"Chuck?! He knows?"

"Yeah, he was the first one who knew, officially someone he knows told him that but I doubt that, I assume his PI told him."

"What else does his PI know?"

"I don't know… I guess you have to ask him that yourself, you'll have plenty of time to do that, as soon as you're home."

"Yeah… I can't wait."

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"So he knows that we're coming?" Audrey asked when Serena shut her cell.

"Yes, yes he does."

"What was that about his PI?"

"Oh, Chuck had had his PIs since we were in Middle School. It was actually pretty useful, if we had some problems with someone and we had to take him done, the PI ducked up some dirt about them."

"And that PI has been following us?"

"He followed me, yes."

"So he doesn't know about me?"

"I don't think so, he would have done something if he knew and I don't think he knows about Blair, it seems we did a pretty good job hiding ourselves."

"Well, now it's over, it's time to show ourselves, time to tell everyone who we are, right?"

"Yeah, it's time."

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**15 years ago**

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Chuck shouted at James, his newest PI, he had to fire William his old one because he was incompetent.

"She is in Europe and not in motherfucking Africa or effing Asia."

"I am sorry Mr. Bass", James answered, he eyed the door and wondered if there was a possibility he could fled while the 17 years old boy in front of him was still screaming and wouldn't notice anyrhing. "But it seems that the EU has pretty strict data protection rules. They are harder to avoid and even stricter than our witness-protection-program."

"I don't care how hard it is, I want to know how she… I mean they are."

"I am afraid I can't help you."

"Well, I've heard you're the best. I've hurt you don't give up until you've finished your task. I've heard that you're taking your job very seriously and that you're the type of man who won't stop until he has earned his money."

"I am all of that, but I am sorry I can't do anything that's impossible."

"So what do you suggest?" Chuck screamed drastic. "Should I hire Kim Possible?"

"No, I think you should give up."

"NO!"

"I WON'T. I FUCKING CAN'T."

"Well, then I can't help you, maybe you should hire someone else then, someone who's name isn't Kim Possible maybe, because she's after all just a fictional character."

Chuck tried really hard not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself, maybe James was even more incompetent than William, but he had something Chuck treasured, he had a sense of humour.

"You can keep your job", Chucked told James "You have to keep an eye on them."

With that he turned around and left the room, still laughing.

_That__ is exactly what Blair would have said, _he thought and his face fell.

_Don't even think about her! You don't want her anymore, you s__aid so yourself, forget her she's not worth it!_

He knew he was lying but Chuck was a master when it came to lie to himself.

_Blair…

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**TBC

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A/N: So they're finally on their way to NYC *yippie*, you're excited? I know this was pretty short... sorry!

Um, okay it took me hours to write this and I know it's not my best work but I had to get it out of my system so I can go on. Would you mind some more flashback form Chuck's POV? Maybe even some kindergarten flashbacks? I have some really cute in mind.

About the names, all suggestions were really, really good and I appreciate them, really you have no idea how much they meant to me, well I chose three names from your suggestions, the ones I like the most and now you can decide, the one I'd prefere is **written in fat.**

Boy: Sebastian, **Damien **(you have to admit, that it would fit PERFECTLY), Nickolas

Girl (btw she's Jenny's daughter): **Keira**, Adriana, Kaylee

**Please Review, the more reviews**** I get, the faster I'll type. :D**


	9. Chapter 9 reupload, sorry

**Dear readers,**

**It's been nearly a week, I am sooo sorry!**

**Yeah 76 reviews! You guys are awesome. Really it means so much to me.**

I had to re-upload the chapter sorry, i don't know what was wrong but it didn't show up anymore.

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**Some of you reviewed anonym so:**

**Ggxxlover: **thank you I am glad you liked it. Hehe yeah I kind of feel her either and it's great that you liked the names I chose. Okay the flashbacks will come but first Chuck will meet his daughter, I promise! But I guess he has to tell her a lot and then… time for flashbacks xD

Thanks for the review!

**Anna: **Thank you. Oh I am sorry that it took me so long to update but I'm ill and I have had some family problems… just know that I'm sorry. Oh yeah CV were disgusting. I can't stand them together.

No, I'm sorry Blair is really dead, though "secretly kidnapped and held brainwashed by evil Georgina" sounds like fun. Hehe ;)

Thanks for the review!

**Bxscinderella: **Thank you so much. Well actually the boy isn't Chuck's son, he's Georgina's and Carter's. Well the flashback will properly come after Chuck met Audrey.

Thanks for the review!

**Jane: **Thank you I am glad that you didn't think that the chapter was disappointing. Yeah I know I love the relationship of Serena and Audrey either ;) Oh thank you, you're so sweet.

Thanks for the review!

**....lolo...: **Sorry but I am confused. Do you like the story or don't you like it? I'm German my English sucks sometimes, so please excuse me. Anyway thanks for the review.

**teddy bear: **Thank you so much, it means a lot me because I really worked hard on that part. Oh really you like that either, that's great! Um I had a conversation with and she agreed with me that the name Keira isn't really Jenny, I love the name, I do. Would you mind if I use the name for another character? You'll get then a chapter dedication for yourself, okay?

Thanks for the review!

**Raffy: **Omg you really think so? Gah that means the world to me thanks! I'll definitely finish :) Thank you so much for the review!

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**Chapter dedication: **This chapter is for two lovely people.

**cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 **because she suggested the great name Damien. He'll take action in the next chapter so watch out for him.

and because she helped me out with the names and even looked some up for me, thank you so much!

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**Happy readings!

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**Chapter 8**

"Smug", Serena sighed in delight when she got off the plan.

"Yeah, smug! " Audrey cheered sarcastically.

"Oh god, I missed New York", Serena claimed as she watched the people rushing through the airport.

"_Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today  
I want to be a part of it - New York, New York  
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray  
Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York"_

"Serena stop it, everyone is starring at you!" Audrey hissed.

"That's because I am beautiful, more than that I look ravishing today even after the eight hours flight", Serena joked in a kind of singsong.

"_I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn't sleep  
And find I'm king of the hill - top of the heap",_ she continued to sing.

"Oh come on, Audrey."

"No, you're too sentimental today."

"And you're such a spoilsport, come on lets have some fun, you're in New York for the very first time, you have to be excited, everyone is excited when they come to New York."

"_These little town blues, are melting away  
I'll make a brand new start of it - in old New York, _Audrey please do it for me!"

Audrey sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine if it means that much to you", she complained.

"_If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere_

_It's up to you – New York, New York", _she sang low.

"Louder!" Serena screamed.

"This is embarrassing!"

"No it isn't, it's fun. Go on and louder please."

"_New York, New York__  
I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps  
And find I'm a number one top of the list, king of the hill  
A number one_", first her voice was low but then she became surer and surer and her voice rose up.

The people turned around, starred and pointed at her.

"Yeah! You see everyone here loves your voice!"

"Well they love yours either."

"_These little town blues, are melting away  
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York  
And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere"_they finished their song under laughter.

"Okay, you were right, everyone is gazing at us, but you know how much I love attention…"

"Oh, shut up! You have had enough attention, can we please goooo!"

"Sure. I'll call for a cab."

"That won't be necessary", a voice right behind them said.

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Serena's and Audrey's eyes wined synchronically. Then they turned around.

"Eric!" Serena squealed, rushed to him and slung her arms around his neck.

"It's so good to see you, I missed you so much!"

He held her a few centimeters away from him, looked at her and embraced her tightly.

"Well, I wasn't the one who's been hiding in France. Why have you been hiding yourself anyway, you're even more beautiful than in High School. Every man on the Upper East Side will be in love with you at the end of Mom's party. Well except me of course", he joked.

"She's used to it!" Audrey said.

"I guess so", he laughed.

He turned around and focused her for the first time. He had had only eyes for Serena, which was understandable after all she was his sister and he didn't see her for six months, he missed her terribly. She was his family; of course he had Chuck, Bart and Lily. But Serena always had understood him, she had been there for him through the hard times, when their Mom had gotten divorced the 11th time or when he had tried to take his own life, she had been there she had understood, she hadn't judged but she had noticed what he was up to. She had read him like an open book and he had read her, they had been more than syllables, they had been a kind of soul mates. He was sure they still were.

But now he focused on the girl next to his sister.

And he knew who she was; he just had to look at her curly hair, the ruby lips, the hazel eyes and the classic smirk. He noticed the way she dressed, he noticed the headband, he noticed the Peep toes she wore and he noticed the way she glared at him, as she owned the world. He noticed all of that and so he asked Serena the one question he hadn't asked her in a while because every time he had asked her that question, she had looked away and he had sensed her mood swing. From happy to sad, from hyper to depressed but it was time to ask it again, even though he knew that she would have tears in her eyes again, he just had to ask.

"How's Blair?"

Blair… his other sister, they were not connected by blood but he loved her somehow. She was a bitch, she was truly was but she was nice to the people she cared about and if someone threatened one of those people, she was willing to do anything to stop them.

They grew up together; she had been there most of the time because of Serena but when they had been depressed because they had had to live in a hotel suit again, just because their mansion had been renovated again and again, then she had invited them to sleepovers, sometimes they had lived with her about a months, which had been when Blair's parents had been in France or on some business trip. She was the one he had called when Serena had come home completely drunk; she was the one he had called when their Mom wanted to move in with some ass they couldn't stand, she was the one who always found a way out of it.

Their families had been messed up, each in their own way, and with those families they had needed each other, more than anything else, and even though they hadn't admitted it, they had always known it had been true.

"You'll know soon", Serena whispered. It was time, she couldn't hide herself anymore, she couldn't keep pretending that everything was okay, all the mistakes she mad, the wrong paths she took, everything would catch up with her as soon as she'd enter her mother's house, as soon as she'd see him again and as soon as she'd be a part of the Upper East Side again.

Though she'd always been a part of the Upper East Side, a part of Manhattan, in France she hadn't felt that way, it was different there, and the people accepted her without asking any questions. They say the European hospitality is great, they're wrong. It's more than that, the people are so very kind and welcoming, she hadn't had to prove herself, she hadn't had to explain why she raised a child that wasn't hers, no one had really cared about her past, what had been important was the presence.

But now that she was back in the U.S.A. people would ask questions, they'd want to know what she's been doing within the last few years, they'd wanted to know everything about her love life and her feelings about Blair's death and towards her daughter, they'd ask if she saw Blair in Audrey, they would ask everything she never wanted to answer.

But they wouldn't ask that because they really cared about, they'd ask those questions because they longed for the newest gossip, they wanted to talk about her problems, so they didn't have to talk about her own. Self-deception is easy.

"And who are you?" Eric asked the girl.

"My name is Audrey", she mumbled shy, she only used her first name, but she knew he kind of knew who she was. She saw that his eyes had wined when he looked at her the first time; she noticed the glimmer of cognition when she smiled at him.

He had noticed that she was the perfect mix of two people he loved and she wouldn't do anything to confirm his thoughts, at least not yet.

"It's nice to meet you, Audrey", he said politely.

"It's nice to meet you, too", she responded as graceful as she could. And the most useful Audrey had inherited from her mother was her grace, well besides her beauty.

"So you are accompanying my sister on her trip home? He asked.

Audrey laughed.

"Well, ironically it's just the opposite; your sister is accompanying me. And it's my trip home."

"Oh so you're from New York, that's strange, you know I never saw you before…"

"Maybe it's not that strange, New York has a huge population, I bet you don't know that woman, either", Audrey corrected him and pointed at some random stranger.

"No, I don't know her", Eric laughed. "Way to prove a point."

"Thanks", Audrey smiled genuinely at him. "But you were sort of right, you couldn't have met me before, I've never been to New York or America before… but my parents were both from here, so I guess you could call me American."

"So what exactly are you doing here? You can't tell me you came all the way from France because you're suddenly wondering where your parents grow up and you didn't even bring them with you…"

"Yeah, well, you know… "

"Eric! Stop it. You're not the Spanish Inquisition; at least you weren't when we met the last time!" Serena interrupted him.

"Okay, okay but you can not resent me that I want to know something about your lovely friend", he chuckled.

"Oh I sure she doesn't", Audrey smirked, "But she's mad that she isn't the center of your attention, right S?"

Serena stuck her tongue out at Audrey, but Audrey didn't care, she just rolled her eyes.

"Are you really sure, that I haven't met you before? You seem quite familiar…" Eric said and stared at her.

"No, I am 100% sure, that we haven't met each other before", she replied her voice still stable.

"Maybe you just dreamed about her", Serena joked.

Eric's facial expression was hilarious and Audrey couldn't help herself anymore, she threw her head back and laughed relieved.

She liked Eric, he was nice and the way Serena and he worked together was new for Audrey, she was an only child, joking with a sister or a brother was simply new to her.

But it was a good feeling and though she never felt it before, it was kind of familiar. Just as if you have in your very skin, as if it's a natural gene and all you have to do is find it, but when you finally found it won't let go of you anymore, because you need this feeling just as much as it needs you.

Or maybe it needs you even more than you need it.

It wouldn't exist without you; without the person who's feeling it… but then who'd you be without this feeling? Would you ever learn of your faults? Would you ever grow up?

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"Serena!" her mom was out of the door before the limo stopped in front of the Palace Hotel.

A tall figure, dressed in a custom made Armani suit followed her.

"MOM!" Serena squealed.

"Oh Serena, it's been way too long", Lily whispered under tears and embraced her tightly.

"I know Mom; but I am back now and you won't get rid of me so soon", she wiped away Lily's tears, "Oh Mom, you're so prone to tears."

"I know…" Lily tried to smile. "But how can you blame me, with a daughter that's been hiding in France for reasons she refused to tell me and only called every few weeks."

"I'm so sorry Mom but as I said, I am back now!"

Serena took her Mom's hand and smiled at her. "You okay now?"

"I am."

"That's great, because I want you to meet my friend."

She pointed over her shoulder.

"Mom, that's Audrey", she gripped Audrey's right hand with her own free one and pulled her next to her. "Audrey, that's my beautiful Mom, Lillian Bass but I guess you can call her Lily, everyone does it."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Bass", Audrey said shyly.

It was hard for her to say the name Bass. She hadn't thought that it would be that difficult… well she had expected it to be difficult but in another kind of way… she had thought it would be difficult when she'd stand in front of HIM, but now that she stood in front of all those old friends of her mother's and now that she knew that they all knew her father and that they'd shortly know who's child she was, it all was too much for her. Her head was spinning, she felt like she was about to fade and she was busy fighting the tears that were about to stream down her cheeks. She didn't even listen properly to the things Serena said, she just stared at the two middle-aged people.

"As Serena said, it's Lily." Lily told her but she noticed that the girl was staring at someone else.

She turned around and saw the person of Audrey's interest.

"Oh, that's my husband, Bart Bass." Lily introduced Audrey to her husband.

"It's nice to meet you Audrey, are you here for a little shopping trip? I don't want to be rude but you seem quit familiar, have we met before?"

Audrey shook her grandfather's hand, she forced her hand to stop shaking and for once it did what she said but inside she was finished.

"No… I don't think we met before", unlike her hand her voice did not what she said.

"It's her first time in New York", Eric helped her out.

Audrey's lips formed a "thank you" in her savior's direction.

"Mom, don't you think that Serena and Audrey must be tired?" he asked his mother.

"Of course you're right, god I'm such a bad host."  
"Mom", Serena chuckled "You're not and you know that."

"You're right!" Lily smiled.

"I always am."

"Was she always like that?" Audrey wanted to know.

"Yes", Eric, Bart and Lily said synchronically.

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**TBC**

**Okay she didn't meet the whole family but at least she met some of them...  
**

**Oh and I decided to name the girl Brooke I know that name wasn't on the list but I got another suggestion and I like it... do you mind?**

**What do you think of the chapter? I have some problems right now and that means that I have a very difficult time writing this, but I hope you like this. :D**

**Please review, tell me what you think or just that you're enjoying/ not enjoying my story. It makes me very happy and remember a happy writer is a fast one!

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**So review?!  
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	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Hey sorry for the wait but my computer crashed down and I had to start over again. I didn't over read this so sorry if there are many Errors but I am too exhausted right now-

And I am actually supposed to learn for my French exam, I'll be so dead lol. But I just had to write this.

Thanks for the reviews guys, they're making me very happy so please keep them coming.

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So of you reviewed anonym so:

**Teddy bear**: Thank you I am glad you liked it. Yeah I liked that either. Oh my god "Brooke from Brooklyn" seriously that's genius! Haha I know I am cruel but I think you'll have to wait a bit longer. He's at the end of the chapter, but… ^^ Okay I am glad you're not mad. And thanks for the lovely compliment and review.

**Anna: **Thanks. And you're welcome. Yeah I like Bart so he had to be alive in my story :)

Well it'll be soon. Hopefully :D

**Cadence:** Thank you for the lovely review I really appreciate it.

**Bxcinderella****: **Thanks for the review. Well I guess you'll have to wait a bit longer, but don't worry, you'll at least meet Chuck in this chapter.

**Raf****fy: **sorry for the wait but as I've witten on top of the page my computer crashed down. Okay I'll include that. Thanks for the suggestion.

**Tiffany Tam:**Thank you. I'll try. Um well there's not much time left. But see for yourself. Lol :D

Thanks for the review.

**Alice: **Nope, sorry I'm not that into it. But thanks for the suggestion.

**Nicole: **Thank you so much. And I'm glad you like how I write about the caracters.

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Okay this Chapter is dedicated to **Heleen **(because her name didn't show up at the least chapter dedication,) cross your fingers for me that it'll this time.

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**Chapter 9**

Audrey stood in front of the large mirror and starred at herself.

She was beautiful, was it arrogant to say that about herself? She didn't know all she did know was that she looked beautiful; she looked like her mother.

She wore a classic black dress that reached her knees, classy, elegant but not boring, sexy but not too sexy.

Serena had shown her a picture of her mother's 17th birthday party; there Blair had worn a dress which had been very similar to Audrey's. Audrey had even done her hair up so she looked like Blair. She wanted him to recognize her, she wanted him to know who she was but she didn't want to tell him.

How do you tell your father that he's your father?

Do you go to him, stop in front of him, greet him, shake his hand and then you say: "_Hello my name is Audrey Serena Waldorf or should I say Bass because you're my father. I know that you don't know that and I know that you must be surprised and shocked but it's really nice to meet you. Oh and by the way my mother died 15 years ago so you're the only parent I got left. So, how do you feel today?"_

No, that was definitely not the best way. So, she decided to wait for him to recognize her but she was scared that he wouldn't.

"Audrey? Are you coming?"

Serena entered the room without knocking but stopped immediately when she noticed Audrey.

"Oh. My. God." Was all she could choke out.

Audrey turned around and looked at her aunt she wore an amazing white dress that reached her ankles. It was decorated with plenty of Swarowski crystals, that were reflecting and breaking the light, so it was dispersed over the whole dress it looked exclusive.

Her blond hair covered most of her bare back, so even though she looked stunning she didn't seem easy.

"What?"

"You're the image of your mother!"

"Um, thanks… you don't look so bad yourself, truth be told you look gorgeous."

Serena gave Audrey her best top model smile, the smile other girls are practising in front of her mirror for years but never learn. This smile that was the reason every man desired her and every woman hated her the moment she entered a room, well maybe it was just one of the reasons, considering her big blue eyes, her shiny blond hair, her exclusive figure, but that's besides the point.

"So are you coming?"

"Yeah, I just need a moment."

Serena winked at her, "Okay, I'll tell my mom."

She was half out of the room when she turned around a very last time and said:

"Audrey? I think you should wear the Erickson Beamon necklace… if you really want to look like her you should wear it, he'll notice it."

Then she was out of the room.

"Yeah, maybe I really should wear it", Audrey whispered to herself. It was not that she hadn't thought about wearing the necklace before, but she was scared. She honestly wanted him to recognize her but then what? What would he do? Would he say: "_Hey you look like Blair and you have my chin, you must be my daughter? Where's your mother anyway? I always wanted to apologise to her, she's the love of my life, maybe we can get married and then we will be happy family."_

That was even worse then the first idea, not that it was bad itself, it was what she always had wanted, a happy family with her Mom and her Dad and maybe a brother. The bad thing was that it wouldn't come true no matter how hard she wished for it.

She walked to her mirror and in on of the drawers of the antique dressing table she found the box she had hidden there just a few minutes ago.

She opened it and stared at the precious piece of jewellery. She slowly breathed in and out, tried to pull herself together and took the necklace out of the box. Then she put it on, her hands were shaking when she looked in the mirror to see how the necklace suited her, the tears began to stream down her cheeks, she tried to fight them, she tried to wipe them away but after a few aimless tries she let them stream down.

"Oh my god, I can't do that!" she suddenly knew.

"I… I… I can't do this, I can't meet him, I can't tell him everything… I just can't!"

She felt to the ground and buried her face in her arms.

"I can't do this!" she shouted.

"Audrey?" Eric asked carefully as he entered the room. He made his way to the small figure on the ground and sat down next to her.

"You can do this", he said. "You have to do this."

Audrey raised her head and her eyes met Eric's.

"What do I have to do?" she asked him, her voice breaking.

"You have to tell him."  
"Tell who?" Audrey played dumb.

"Do you really think I don't know who you are? Do you really think I didn't notice the second I saw you? I thought that you're pretty intelligent, maybe I was wrong."

"Oh I noticed. I noticed the way you looked at me but that doesn't mean that I have to accept it, this is not your business."  
"It is."

Eric reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Chuck has been miserable since Blair left, he acts as if he doesn't care, but he does. I never thought that he'd ever fall in love but he did. I although never thought that he'd fall in love with his best friends girl but he did. And I never thought that anyone could bring Blair Waldorf down; he did. And he regrets it, he regretted it since ever. I think, he never wanted to hurt her, well okay maybe he wanted but he never thought he could. She was Blair Waldorf the ice queen of the Upper East Side; she didn't run away, she fought. I just think that he wanted her to turn to him so that they could scheme together, just like old times. Yes, maybe that's what he wanted to turn back the time."

"Well he can't, okay?"

"I know that, you know that and he knows that but that doesn't change the fact that everyone wishes that. We always wish that we have some kind of rewind button in our life, to turn back the time, to start over again so you don't have to make the same mistakes. It's naturally one of the things you can always be sure about, you'll make mistakes, and you can't plan your life. You know, Blair always used to watch the same movies over and over again. Do you know why she did that?"

"No", Audrey answered honestly.

"Because then she knew how things would turn out."

"That's wise."

"No, it isn't. Life is about making mistakes you have to make them, so you can learn of them. If you know how things will turn out, where's the fun in that?"

"Life isn't all beer and skittles", she said.

"No, it isn't, it's cruel but there's also a lot of fun in life, you just have to make the best of everything, no matter what happens, remember that it always could go worse and that you're not alone."

"Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get."

Eric sighed annoyed.

"Would you please stop reciting everything that comes to your mind?"

Audrey rolled her eyes, she had to laugh. Eric was really funny and he was right, she had no choice she couldn't run away anymore.

"Sorry", she smiled at him "I just can't stand that you're so wise."

He laughed out hard and said: "My sister really has influence over you, doesn't she?"

Audrey nodded sadly. "Well she raised me, how could she not have influence over me?"

"Yeah, you're probably right. And of course, you have the typical Waldorf meltdowns, but besides that Blair and Serena did a pretty great job."

"Yeah, yeah, I think they did." Audrey stuttered.

Eric stood up, gave Audrey his hand and lifted her up off the ground.

"Come on, they're waiting downstairs."

"Okay", Audrey muttered and looked one last time in the mirror. "Let's go."

Eric looked down at her and stoke briefly through her hair.

"Thank god, your make-up is water-proof", he chuckled when they left the room.

* * *

"Audrey, calm down", Lily told her.

"I'm sorry."

Audrey couldn't help herself but to stare out of the dark tainted limo window.

"But I grow up in France; I never drove in a Limousine before because I usually took my bike to school and Serena always drives a SUV. And it's so exciting to be in New York, I wasn't really excited before but now that I see all the lights and the Empire State building I just feel home? You know? Well you probably don't you grow up here and all but I don't know it's just all so great and… I think I'm talking too much."

"Oh no go on, I am actually enjoying this", Eric smirked.

"Eric stop making fun of her, I remember the first time we visited Berlin you squealed like a four year old and you were actually 16 and what's the most important fact you're boy; Audrey is a girl it's naturally for her to giggle and to be excited."

"Oh, shut up I just liked the "Brandenburger Tor"."

"I actually do understand you", Bart interrupted their little fight.

"When I came to New York I felt the same way and I was an adult. It's just New York, it makes you feel this way, no matter where you come from, no matter how old you are. It's stunning, it's impressing, and you can't fight that feeling."

Suddenly Audrey was interested, this was her grandfather she wanted to know his story, he was after all a part of her family, and it was her story as well.

"Why did you come to New York?"

Suddenly the tension in the limousine increased drastically and Eric and Lily stiffened in their seats.

"Did I ask something wrong?" Audrey asked shy.

Bart shook his head.

"No, no you didn't. It's not as if it's a big secret or so. I grow up in California, went to school there, after that I went to USC, there I met my wife. After my wife died in childbirth and I was left alone with my little son I couldn't stay anymore in California. I had to leave so I moved to New York where you can find dispersal easily. Well at least they tell that about New York, but I couldn't forget her. I think that it was because of Chuck."

"Who is Chuck?" Audrey asked carefully, it was really hard to keep her voice stable but she managed to do it. She didn't know how, she just did, though it was nearly impossible.

"Chuck is my son. He's the male image of his mother and every time I looked at him I saw her. So I tried to look at him as rarely as possibly but that didn't work it, all it caused was that he thought that I blamed him for his mother's dead and now we lost contact, I just meet him at social events once or twice a month. Lily did you send him an invite for tonight?"

"Yes, I did. And he said he'd come."

Bart silently nodded.

"Okay." Then he looked at Audrey. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, considering I don't even know you but you… you just seem so familiar. So I'm telling you: I miss my son, and I am regretting that I was never there for him."

"Okay" she said, she couldn't say anything else.

Bart sounded so sad, so vulnerable, so lost.

"And did you blame him?"

_Why the hell are you asking him that? He wants to forget everything and all you do is to rub it his face. _She thought.

_You're so stupid. Keep you mouth shut Audrey._

"No, I never, as I said I just couldn't look at him. I never blamed him, the person I blamed was myself because it was my fault not his, he was just a baby. He was innocent."

"Did you tell him?"

"No, no I never told him."

"Well, maybe you should have", Audrey whispered.

_I am one to talk. I am the one who has to tell him that he's my mother, I am the one who has to tell him that I am the one who killed her… and if it's true what Serena and Eric are saying then I am the one who killed the woman he loved. Great Audrey, just great, as if it all isn't hard enough!_

"Do you think he would understand if someone else died?"

"What do you mean? What if someone else died? Well, why would he blame anyone?"

"Nothing, just forget it. I was just thinking."

"Okay."

Audrey looked out of the window again and in the reflection of the tainted glass she saw Bart starring at her.

* * *

"We're there", Lily announced as the limo stopped.

They got off the car but Audrey didn't move she remained starring out of the window.

"Audrey?" Bart stuck his head through the door.

"We're there, you have to go out" he told her patiently.

Audrey flinched and raised her head quickly.

"What?" she asked confused.

"We're there, you have to go out."

"Oh."

Then she suddenly realized what he was talking about.

"Yes, I am so sorry." She stood up and wanted to get out but her food was stuck between two of the seats and so she flew out of the open door and nearly hit a wall.

But two strong arms slung around her waist before she was introduced to the not so comfortable wall.

"Are you okay?" asked a foreign voice.

"Yes" she answered automatically. "I don't know what happened, I am usually not clumsy."

"Well, then it must be fate that you flew into my arms, or was it purpose?" the voice continued.

Audrey looked up at the person who was rude enough to say something like that to her.

"No, it was not purpose", she told the boy she was looking up to, he was about her age, maybe one or two years older and very good looking. He had hazel eyes and dark brown hair that reached his ears.

And she noticed the pit marks that showed up when he smiled, he didn't look childish with them he looked cute, yes but there was also something mysterious about him, as if he had planned a trick and now he was laughing about the naïve people who didn't know anything about his plans. Yes, he definitely was the plotting type.

"If it had been purpose I wouldn't have flown in the arms of some pig like you and if it was fate, well then it's my destiny to do this", she continued and kicked him as hard as she could.

Her 6 inch Manolos hit his shin and he groaned loudly.

"Oh, sorry but I just can't fight against fate" she spat and turned around.

Lily, Eric and Bart were starring at her with widened eyes. Serena just chuckled and shook head.

"Audrey stop it, you could think you haven't been raised well."

"I'm sorry" Audrey claimed sheepish. She was a very good liar.

"Apologise young lady", Serena said strict.

Audrey shook her head but then she turned around a focused the boy who was caressing his shin.

"I am sorry". Yes, she really was a good liar.

"It's okay; by the way my name's…"

But Audrey didn't care. She had turned around again the moment the false apologise had left her mouth and demanded: "So can we go inside?"

"Sure", Bart responded. "Well done", he whispered low so Serena couldn't hear him.

"Thanks", Audrey replied in the same way.

"You know", Lily said lost in her thoughts, "Bart was right. You really do seem familiar."

* * *

"Audrey? Are you looking for someone?" Lily asked the girl.

"No. No, I'm just admiring this glory.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Serena asked. "I almost forgot the famous glory of the Palace. Why did you move out Mom?"

"Well, you won't believe this but after Chuck cut contact to Bart, your step-father didn't want to stay here anymore because he was reminded of his lost son every day and so he bought the Waldorf Astoria and we moved into a penthouse there. It's not as if he wouldn't be thinking about him there but at least we tried."

"Poor Bart" Audrey said, she really felt sorry for her grandfather and she didn't understand what happened to the Chuck Bass her mother had written about.

"Is his son here?" she asked Lily.

"No he isn't, not yet."

"Aha."

"Hey there's someone who'd like to meet you." Lily suddenly said, gripped Audrey's hand and pulled her right through the room. She stopped in front of a blond woman and a girl in Audrey's age.

"Audrey these are Jenny and Brooke Humphrey. Brooke Audrey just arrived from France, would you mind taking care of her?"

The girls eyed up each other, Brook was beautiful, and she had long, blond hair and blue eyes.

The deep blue dress she wore made her seem older than she truly was.

"Hey Brooke, it's nice to meet you" Audrey greeted her.

"Likewise" was all Brooke had to say.

"Well I guess you girls have much to tell each other and Jenny and I have to catch up either, so have some fun" Lily winked at them and she disappeared with Jenny following her.

"So…" Audrey started. "You're Mom seems nice."

"Yeah."

"She always seems pretty young", Audrey said carefully.

"Mhh, she gave birth to me in her sophomore year."

"Oh…"

"You have a problem with that?" Brooke asked harsh.

"No. Actually not, my Mom gave birth to me in her senior year, so I think we have something in common."

"It seems so… So what school are you going to?"

"Constance Billiard…"

"Ah. Oh god I love your dress, where did you get it?"

"Thanks, it's an Eleanor Waldorf original. My mom works for her and she's a designer, too, her label "Jenny Humphrey designs" is quite popular right now."

"Eleanor Waldorf? Is that Blair Waldorf's mother?"

"Yes. Do you know her? God, you have to tell me anything. They say that she disappeared someday and never showed up again."

"Um…" Audrey stuttered. "No, I don't know her; I just heard some things about her."

Brooke laughed.

"Well, I heard some things about her either. She slept with two guys in one week, she was such a slut."

Audrey clenched her fist. She had to pull herself together; she mustn't hit that stupid girl who didn't know what she was talking about. She just mustn't.

"I… I gotta go" Audrey said, turned around and fled.

She looked down to the ground so that nobody would notice her, she was afraid that anyone could recognize her just as Eric and Bart had recognized her.

_I have to get out of her_ she thought when she rushed into someone.

"Look out!" someone said harshly.

She slowly raised her head. She knew this voice though she never heard it. Well maybe she had heard it in her dreams; maybe that was the reason the recognized that voice, there wasn't another assertion why she knew that voice, she couldn't know it. Or maybe it was what the boy before her had told her, it was fate. Maybe it was fate that she run in the one person she was fled from.

So she raised her chin and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry", she told Chuck Bass.

* * *

**TBC**

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PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!

But I really have to go studying now, I'll try to update Monday but I make no promises.

However, **If you want more… REVIEW.**

It makes me happy and I really appreciate it!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**107 reviews? OMFG! Really you guys are awesome, you're the best readers ever and I'm most likely the worst writer ever because I said I'd try to update until Monday and now it's Wednesday. But I really am sorry, I forgot about my dance lessons and then I had to study for my science exam. Okay, just know that I always try to keep on to my update promises but if something unexpected happens (hehe how fitting) in real life than it's possible that I won't make it, sorry. I'll try to improve.

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**Bxcinderrella: **LMAO yeah that would be a good idea xD. Thanks for the review.

**Anna:** Um, Eleanor knows that Blair died and she also knows about Audrey but she chose not to be a part of her life. You'll soon get to know why. Thanks for the review and I hope you'll enjoy the chapter.

**Angel159:** Thank you very much for the review. I'm sorry that you had to wait. Please read the author note if you want to know why I was busy and I'm glad you liked it.

**Karina: **Aww thank you, that's really sweet. Yeah I love Bart ;) um yeah Nate will be in the next chapter, hope you'll like him there. Oh thanks I think your review just made my day.

**Teddy bear: **Thank you, I really work hard on those thought scenes, I try to give my story a little deepness. Hehe I love that quote, too. And I think it's really wise and so true. Yeah when Eric and Audrey talked that line came to my mind and so I had to use I really am glad you liked the way I used it. Hehe no problem dear, you made my day more often then I made yours so I'm glad that I made you happy :)

**Twix: **I really am sorry. But there was just a lot going on lately and I promise you that I'll try to improve but I said that I wouldn't make any promises because I wasn't sure if I could manage to update on time and after all I failed. Thank you I'm glad you like it and I did as you wished. xD

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And now there is this new way of replying and I don't anymore to which reviews I already replied so if any reply got under in the fever I am sorry, just tell me.

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**Happy readings.**

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**Chapter 10**

Do you know this feeling when your whole world seems to be spinning? When you're in some kind of déjà vue? When everything you have been sure about suddenly doesn't count anymore? Then you look at somebody who feels familiar or you feel like something like this has happened a long, long time ago and you just don't know if it's reality or if it's a dream. But then everything comes back to you and you know that this can't be a dream because a dream would never be so painful.

Even the worst nightmares can't be worse than reality because the thing about nightmares is that they aren't true they won't follow you until you want to scream, if you have a nightmare you scream once and then you'll be awake, you're heart will be pounding, you'll turn on every single light in your room and you'll try to calm down.

Nightmares are horrible, they force us to deal with our deepest fears, to deal with the things we want madly to forget, this is their way to catch up with us and they'll eventually; but at the end they're just nightmares.

Reality is so much more powerful because it doesn't matter how hard you wish, it doesn't matter how loud you scream reality won't go away. And that's why we fear those nightmares so much, they wouldn't be so bad themselves but they symbols everything we are afraid could happen in real life. And then there's one moment in your life everything you wanted to forget about catches up with and you feel overwhelmed and honestly there are no words to describe this feeling because it's just too awkward and the people who ever felt that way are usually to disturbed to tell others about it, well maybe they just don't want to because they're ashamed of what they felt.

But if you've ever felt this way you know exactly how Chuck Bass felt when he looked in some familiar hazel eyes.

The realization hit him without an advance warning.

"_This can't be true"_ was all he thought.

"_Seriously this can't be true, it can't be her."_

This couldn't be Blair Waldorf. She left, she left 15 years ago; she couldn't be back. He thought he'd never see her again and all of a sudden she was back, it was just too much for his brain to handle.

How would you feel if the love of your life would stand right in front of you after 15 years of absence? What would you do?

Would you say: _"I missed you so much_" and everything would be good again. Would you want to start all over again?

Or would you put up a fight? Just to prove your point, to make clear that nothing has changed and that you're still as stubborn as you used to be, maybe even more.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and in the case of Chuck Bass they're definitely right about that. He missed her and now that there was an opportunity to get her back he was willing to anything.

But how could she be back? And why didn't she change one bit? Why her eyes were still the same? Why were there just like they had been so many years ago?

* * *

_Chuck Bass stood in front of the huge kindergarten. His nanny had left just seconds ago and he was too afraid to step through the doors all by himself. He was a child, he was afraid of the darkness about loneliness and about a lot of other things. __All in all he was wiser than most adults._

_All the other children were surrounded by their families but Chuck was completely alone, his father said he couldn't make it because he was on some business meeting but Chuck knew that that wasn't true. He was probably out with some woman. Chuck didn't even blame him, he knew that he wasn't the son his father expected him to be and even though he really tried he screwed up time after time. _

_First he was the perfect son, carefully dressed and with good manors but then he stumbled and broke a precious vase and he saw the disapproving look on his father's face. He really tried to be perfect but he failed, and now he was tired of trying to be someone else, if his father wasn't perfect, then why was Chuck supposed to be perfect? It didn't make any sense to him._

_He missed his mother, sure he never met her but he missed her. You probably don't understand how it's possible to miss someone you never met before, well I don't have an answer to that question, I don't know how it is possible but what I know is that it IS possible._

_Because when you sneak into your father's room when he's at work and you open the old wooden drawer in the huge closet and you'll look at the picture of you're beautiful mother, which is hidden there, you can hear her chuckling. "I love you Chuckie"_

_And somehow you can even hear your response: "Don't call me Chuckie Mom, my name is Chuck."_

"_And why am I not allowed to call you Chuckie, dear?"_

"_Because I am Chuck Bass."_

_That's insane you tell yourself but you can't bring yourself to give up on those day dreams because it is the only thing that reminds you of her and she is the only person that connects you with your dad. You're dad, who only notices your presence when he has something __to criticize._

"_Daddy, I don't want to go in there, I don't know anyone…" he heard a tiny voice complaining._

_He turned around and looked at a girl about his age, she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and Chuck Bass had seen a lot of woman. He slowly went towards her and stopped barely a meter away. The girl had curly brown hair, which she wrapped around her finger, just as she twisted her father around her finger._

_Then she looked up and her eyes met Chuck's. The boy felt as he came up against a brick wall. Those eyes…_

_These hazel eyes that remembered him of his mother's ones, that remembered him of his ones. They were full of grief too much grief for such a young girl, but then again he had seen so much grief that it would be enough for a lifetime, either. _

_He had to get to know this girl, he had to discover what it was that made her so sad, he wanted to know every detail about her._

_Yes, maybe he really was insane but somehow he knew that she was his equal._

_He stepped closer and cleared his throat._

"_Hello… my name is Chuck Bass and I don't know anyone, too… maybe we could know each other?" he asked shyly. _

_The girl smiled at him and Chuck felt something fluttering in his stomach, he ignored it, he'll ignore it for the next 12 years. _

"_That would be nice, I guess. Oh, and I am Blair."_

"_Hello Blair", Chuck said and waved at her._

"I've heard he's new money…"_ they heard an old woman whispering._

"Yes, and they're saying that he never had a mother, she died in childbirth or so…"

"And now his father is sleeping around."

_Chuck blushed and tried to turn away but Blair __didn't let him._

"_So you're new money?" she asked him curiously._

"_Mhh" as little as he was, Chuck knew what that meant. _

"_That's interesting, I've never knew someone who's new money" she chuckled "My Mom's gonna freak out because we friends now!"_

_All Chuck could do was nod. _

"_Come on, Chuck" she replied and gripped his hand, "We're friends now, you don't have to be shy. Let's play house!" _

_She looked over her shoulder and said: "Bye Daddy!"_

_That was the first time he ever met Blair Waldorf, it was the day he looked in a pair of hazel eyes that were so similar to his own ones. It was the day he felt in love, it took him years to understand that.

* * *

_

"What are you doing here?" he said harshly.

Yes, if you're called Chuck Bass you'll definitely put up a fight to prove that nothing has changed.

Even though everything has changed, you're just too stubborn to admit how much you missed her, you can't tell her, and she is the enemy.

If you tell her she'll tell everyone and it'll be on Gossip Girl before you even know that you said it out loud. No, you can't tell her. She is the enemy. A freaking hot enemy, by the way but this was war. Okay, it was difficult to fight against someone who knows you so well. It's difficult to fight against your partner in crime; the person you used to scheme with but that was all an awful lot of time ago.

Yes, it truly was difficult but he knew that if he really wanted to then it could be done.

"I… I am sorry", he heard her whispering.

And suddenly he shivered.

This wasn't her. This wasn't Blair. This wasn't the one person he had been waiting for for 15 years.

The girl that stood in front of him was a girl, not the full grown woman Blair Waldorf was supposed to be.

How could he have been so blind?

This girl was nothing like Blair. Of course, she had the same brown curls, ruby lips and she even had those hazel eyes he had missed the most. Those eyes that talked to him without words, and this girl surely was sad.

Okay, maybe she had her eyes, the same sad eyes but she wasn't Blair.

"It is okay" he just said.

What could he say more? Something like: "_Oh never mind, you just broke my heart because I thought you were the woman that's the love of my life and now that I realized that you aren't I feel kind of ashamed and hey you know what? It fucking hurts to stand up everyday knowing that she won't come back to me"._

No, you don't tell strangers things like that. If you're Bass you don't tell anyone, they could use it against you. You can't trust anyone because no one trusts you.

"Are you okay?" the low voice asked.

That voice interrupted Chuck's thoughts and he looked up and for the first time her really noticed the girl, not because he thought that she was Blair or because he was mad at himself for letting his emotions overwhelming him but for who she really was.

She was about 16 years old, maybe even younger and he had been right she really looked like Blair, she even had the same grief in her eyes as if she had seen too much pain to handle.

She was pretty and you could see that she was going to be beautiful, very beautiful.

But now she was just a child.

"Yeah…"

"You don't look so…"

"I'm fine."

"Really?"  
"Yes!"

"Aha…"

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't say anything."

"This "aha" that means something."

Audrey chuckled.

"I just think that you don't seem fine, you're actually seemed pretty stressed."

_Omg! _Audrey thought. _This is your very first conversation with your father, Audrey. YOUR FATHER! Your VERY first… okay don't think about it, you just have to keep cool… breath in and breathe out…and try to not stare at him you can worry later…_

"Oh… I just… um… never mind", Chuck couldn't believe that a 15 year old made him stutter that way and that when he had just reminded himself to not show feelings. His father would be so disappointed in him, but then again his father was always disappointed in him, so he didn't care what the old man thought.

At least he tried to tell himself that he didn't care and Chuck was good in convincing other people, he was even good in lying to himself.

"_I don't need him, I don't need her, I don't need any of them."  
_Oh yes, Chuck Bass was the king of lies, nobody could see through them; nobody but himself and even that happened not so often.

"Who are you anyway?" he asked the girl to detract from his own weakness.

"My name is Audrey", she replied and Chuck noticed that she also sounded like Blair.

She had this typically biting undertone in her voice and she spoke clear and carefully just as she thought about every single word that left her mouth but the wink in her eyes made also clear that she spoke before thinking. She irritated him and that was what reminded him of Blair the most. It was also why he loved Blair, she wasn't like any other girl or woman he'd ever met.

"Lovely name" he replied. "My name is Chuck Bass."

"I know…I mean it is nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

They stood there starring in each other eyes, trying to figure out all those questions that were burning on their souls when a lively too familiar voice interrupted them.

"Audrey? There's someone really excited to meet you" Serena van der Woodsen squealed as she made her way towards her goddaughter.

She was so happy to be back in New York, she had missed it so much even though she had never admitted it to herself. She wanted herself to be happy in France, for herself for Audrey and for Blair.

But truth be told New York, the Upper East Side and over all the people there would always be a part of her, no matter how hard she tried to fight that feeling.

They say you're home where your heart pounds and in Serena's case they couldn't have said wiser words. Her heart pounded in New York like nowhere else; it was her home.

Those thoughts suddenly stopped when the person who stood next to Audrey turned around and she saw the face she was frightened of. It was not that she hadn't missed him because she did; she was surprised about that herself. But he was her stepbrother, a part of her family and she had missed him, he had screwed up time and time again but aren't those mistakes the reason we love people? If there were perfect people, wouldn't that be boring?

"Chuck…" she choked out.

He winked at her and then after a moment of awkward silence he hugged her briefly, something she had never expected him to do. Maybe it was true what Lily told her, maybe he really had changed. The old Chuck Bass would have made a pervy comment, this one just looked broken.

"So you're back for good?" he asked her.

"I guess I am."

"And you came alone?" he asked curiously.

"Yes." She watched his face fell.

"I mean know…" she interrupted herself and suddenly it was back this glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"No?"

"I came with a friend."

"Is he or she here either?"

"She is…" Serena said and she felt so guilty for raising his hopes. But all of a sudden she wanted him so suffer; she wanted him to feel as bad as she felt.

But what then? He was already broken she could tell. Was her satisfaction worth it to hurt him even more? It surely wasn't.

"Chuck, this is Audrey my friend from France."

"I've already met her!" he said harshly. "Isn't there someone else?"

"No…" Serena said and gripped his hand carefully.

"Let go of me!" Chuck demanded.

"No. Chuck, I really think we have to talk and it might be better if we'd go somewhere quiet… maybe you should sit down."  
"No, you can say anything you want to tell me right here" he made a grand gesture.

"No, I can't. It's about Blair."

She pulled him with her and this time she didn't encounter any resistance.

Audrey followed them silently.

_It was Showtime._

Things were about to change… that was sure what wasn't sure was if it was for better of for worse.

**TBC

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**

**Please leave a review if you want more.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: WOW!** Just **WOW!** 128 reviews… really I never expected that much when I started to write this story… please keep your great reviews up :D

This chapter is nearly all about the past so barely progress in this chapter... please don't complain about that. The next one will be all present.

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**Twix: **Thank you. I know today's Saturday… but I tried! Thanks for the sweet words and before you're going to ask me to update until Monday or Tuesday… it's my grandma's birthday and I have dance lessons but I'll try until Wednesday…

**Irishgirl837: **I did it asap. And thanks for the review.

**Koenig: **I tried. Thanks for the review btw.

**PP: **Thank you so much, your review made me smile.

**Karina: **Haha, thanks. And I am really sorry about the cliff hanger. Thanks for the review:)

**Teddy bear:** Did I ever mention that I simply love your reviews? They are always so detailed which makes it sooo much fun to read them. Thank you I am glad that you liked all of those parts. Oh German exam? Bist du deutsch? Because I am German… hehe. Well good luck! No I finished the flashbacks with Blair in France… but there are a few Chuck flashbacks to come and several one when the two of them were little.

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Happy readings!

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**Chapter 11**

If somebody would have ever told Chuck Bass that he would sit in front of his stepsister and some teenage girl trying not to bit his nails he wouldn't have believed him.

He was Chuck Bass he didn't bite nails that was something for girls or depressive women. It was a sign of fear or even of defeat and he would never fear anything neither would he ever lose something he wanted to keep.

_Well you did,_ reminded him the tiny voice in his head.

Okay, he really was going insane, he was talking to himself. How low can you go?

_Shut up! _He told the voice and at the same time he rolled his eyes at himself.

This was all her fault, he was going insane because of her and her stupid pride if she hadn't run away he would have never started to go crazy over her in the first place.

Who knew that you could go crazy over a woman? Okay, he guessed that everyone knew that, Hollywood kept telling that everyone in the stupid entire world.

But who knew that Chuck Bass could go all crazy over a woman? The right answer is: nobody. He was known as a heartless bastard, as a guy who never slept with a girl more than once. And he had been fucking proud of that image. Everyone was scared of him because they knew that he was Big Bad Bart's son. Maybe he hadn't even noticed Chuck but not matter how bad he was; you can't call him costive.

Chuck got everything that could be bought with money sadly love can't be bought with it. You have to earn it yourself.

Where were we?

Oh right, Chuck Bass hadn't been the guy who felt for a girl and went crazy over her. The girls went crazy over him. But then he felt for his best friend's girl and all of sudden everything had changed.

He shouldn't have hooked up with her; he should never have let her go under his skin.

Then maybe things would be different right now.

Why did he sleep with her anyway?

It wasn't even that good…

Okay, that was lie. It had been the best night of his entire life. Mmh, maybe the night of her 17th birthday party was even better… he didn't exactly know.

But what he knew was that the best nights of his life were strongly connected with her, that she was what made life worth it.

Truth be told he started falling for her a long time before that night at Victrola before that ride in his limo.

It started all so many years ago…

* * *

_8 year old Blair Waldorf sat on the green grass of the Central Park angrily starring at Nate Archibald who was flirting with her so called best friend Serena van der Woodsen, again!_

_The two of them had run away when Blair had proposed to play house._

_Okay, maybe she hadn't proposed maybe she had demanded. But that was not the point, the point was that she was sitting all by herself while her boyfriend was playing with her best friend, he had chosen Serena over her and that hurt Blair like nothing else because everyone chose Serena over her. Her mom did, her teachers did all her girl friends did and now even her boyfriend did it._

_She couldn't even blame them because she actually understood why they did it, why they always chose Serena over her. She was prettier, livelier and of course she was a van der Woodsen people expected her to be funny and to do what she wanted. But Blair was supposed to act like a lady she wasn't allowed to play at the monkey-bars or to play in the dirt. _

_It was one of the first things her mother had thought her: "You're a Waldorf, Blair. You must act like one."_

_Blair really tried to act graceful but she was still a child and somehow she knew that her mother expected too much of her but she wanted her to be proud of her, so she changed herself in a girl she didn't even like herself._

"_Why are you so angry?" asked a voice right behind her._

_She didn't have to turn around to see who it was._

_Chuck Bass, the villain of the Upper East Side grade school elite. Even though he was barely old enough to write the word villain correctly it was clear that once he'll be older be the next Carter Baizen and when he'll be fully grown up he'll be the next notorious playboy of Manhattan. It was in his DNA. No one expected him to be anything else. Somehow he and Blair were caught in their own cage, a cage they had accepted with the milk their nannies had given them and now even at the age of 8 it was too late to break out of it. Their lives were planned and there was nothing they could do against that fact, they couldn't rebellion it was pointless._

"_The golden couple is reunited again" she told him, she didn't even try to cover the anger in her voice, she didn't have to. Chuck knew her too well and he accepted her for who she was just like she accepted him for the same reason. They were Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck the dreaded scheming partners of Manhattan._

_They understood each other and had a strange bound of connection that no one else really understood._

"_So he chose her over you again" he assumed._

"_Let me guess, you wanted them to play house with you…"_

_She raised her head and nodded._

"_Why do you always want to play house?" he asked her though he knew her answer._

"_Because it's the only game I can play without getting all dirty."_

"_Aha."_

"_Mmmh" she said and starred at the green grass, there were daisies growing next to her and she couldn't help herself so she gathered one of them._

"_That's beautiful" Chuck told her._

"_I love daisies" Blair muttered. "They are not as classy as roses but I don't want everything to be classy."_

_She carefully gripped one tiny piece of the blossom and started._

"_He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me,-…"_

"_What are you doing?" Chuck asked her when she finally stopped._

"_I want to know if Nate loves me" she answered._

"_And what did it say?" he wanted to know._

_She didn't answered instead the gathered another flower and started all over again._

"_Hey, you did it once you can't just do it twice" Chuck interrupted her._

"_Of course, I can. That one before was simply the wrong flower so I had to pick another one."_

"_Okay, I give you one last try" Chuck offered._

"_He loves, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me-…"_

"_So what did it say?" he asked her again._

"_You know what I think?" she told him while ignoring his question. "Those daisies are the wrong flowers. It's extremely hard to grip a single piece of blossom I probably just gripped two or so and that's the reason the flower…"_

"… _always says that Nathaniel doesn't love you", Chuck finished her sentence._

"_Yeah, it's mistaken. He loves me, he really does." Said the 8 year old girl, wasn't it hilarious that an 8 year old spoke about love in that way? _

"_If you're so sure about that, then why do you have to ask some random flowers about that?"_

"_I don't know" she said harshly. "I just have to!"_

"_Besides those daisies don't work, I'll go and buy some roses."_

"_I thought roses are too classy…"_

"_Nothing can ever be too classy" Blair tried to defend herself._

"_It that Blair or Eleanor Waldorf speaking?"  
"Shut up! This has nothing to do with her; it's just about the fact that daisies are useless."_

"_I thought you'd like daisies…"_

"_That's so 10 minutes ago" Blair rolled her eyes._

"_Whatever… but let me prove you that daises do work, come on give them another shot…"_

"_Okay" she mumbled. "But just one, how are you going to prove it anyway?"_

"_I'll try it myself", he claimed._

_Blair laughed out loud hardly and chuckled: "Well Chuck, then it'll definitely say he loves you because you love yourself more than anyone could love you and far, far more than you could ever love someone else" she told him._

"_I guess that's true" he assumed, though he had a feeling she was wrong._

_He gathered a daisy and started to rip out the piecsd. While he was doing that he looked up and their eyes met, their gazes locked and he couldn't look away anymore, he didn't have to anyway because he knew exactly that his fingers ripped out every single piece of blossom for itself. They did not do mistakes because as long as the two kids were together, there were no mistakes and no regrets._

"_She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not… she loves me" he finished._

"_She… she loves me" he repeated surprised and kept starring at her._

"_And who is that famous girl?" she wanted to know._

"_Oh that's not important.., but what is important is that the daisies work. That means Nathaniel doesn't love you."_

_All of a sudden tears welled up in her eyes and she broke the connection of their eyes._

"_Shut up" she demanded her voice throaty._

_He could even hear the tears in her voice; he carefully reached out for her and caressed her shoulder._

"_I really am sorry" he whispered honestly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."_

_Blair silently nodded._

"_I bet he does love you" Chuck continued. "Maybe he's just shy…"_

_Blair looked at him as if he was insane._

"_Shy?" she asked sarcastically._

"_There's my girl" Chuck said smiling. "Always ready to rise as a phoenix from the ashes when it's time to laugh at someone. _

"_You see, how could he not love you?" he asked her and she chuckled._

"_Thank you Chuck" she smiled at him and stood up._

"_I think I'll go over to Nate and Serena, maybe they want to go to the monkey-bar. My mom is going to freak out but what she doesn't know won't hurt her…" _

"_Do you want to come with me?" she added._

"_No thanks, I have something I need caretaking of" he replied._

"_Bye, Chuck", she waved at him._

"_Bye, Blair."_

* * *

_When Blair got home a bouquet of roses waited for her, right next to them stood a plant pot with daisies. She ignored the roses and picked on of the daisies. She remembered the way Chuck smiled at her and so she started with his face on her mind._

"_He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me… he loves me." _

_She looked up when the elevator bell announced a visitor and as the doors opened she whispered: "He loves me". She would never admit that she was disappointed when Nate was the one getting out of the elevator, over all she would never admit it to Chuck because she was his best friend's girl.

* * *

_

Serena starred at her stepbrother who stood in front of her, completely calm.

Why didn't he freak out? Why didn't he scream: "I want to know what's going on here? Why didn't he act like Chuck Bass? What was wrong with him?

All he did was standing in front of her a silly smile on his face.

"Chuck?"

He flinched as she interrupted his day dreams. "Huh?"

"Would you please pay some attention to me? What I have to tell you is important so please sit down and stop acting like a 10 year old."

He just starred at her silently, he didn't have to say anything to her. Okay, that was a lie he had a million things to tell her but he knew that if he would start he would admit all the things no one could ever knew. He would admit how hurt he had been when Blair had chosen Nate over him, he would admit that he regretted everything he had done to her, and he would even admit that he had tried to follow her, so that he could make things up to her. He would admit that he failed in winning back the two persons he ever truly loved, Blair his father and Nate.

Because after Blair left Nate chose to ignore him, and unlike Chuck Nate was talented in finding new friends.

* * *

"_Did you sleep with her, huh?"_ he still remembered the day he lost his best friend.

…

"_Yes Nathaniel, I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back."_

"_So somehow you're screwing Blair for sport is my fault?"_

"_It wasn't just for sport. She needed someone and I was there."_

"_Oh so you cared about her?"_

…

"_Look I'm sorry but how long have you and I been best friends, okay?"  
"No Chuck, it's not okay. From now one you'll stay away from me."_

"_Nate…"_

"_You heard what I said, you stay away from me!"

* * *

_

Since that day he never really spoke to Nate again, not that he didn't try to. He tried a million times but Nate never wanted so talk to him again. Chuck had tried to explain but Nate never really listened.

Chuck lost his two best friends at one day… and he had lost his parents the day he was born, so Chuck had been left alone.

"I am not acting like a 10 year old Serena. As glad as I am that you're back now Serena, you have no idea what it's been like…" he started but was interrupted by her furious reply.

"I have no idea what it's been like?" she screamed, she couldn't control the anger in her voice, it was all too much. He told her that she had no idea what it's been like and actually he was the person who had no idea what it's been like. He had no idea that he had a daughter she had raised, he had no idea that her best friend died… and his best friend as well.

HE HAD NO EFFING IDEA!

And he dared to tell her that she had no idea what it's been like…

"You know what? I wanted to tell you carefully, so that you won't get hurt too much. I don't even know how I would have done that but I decided to try. But now I don't give a damn about your feelings anymore because no matter what you're saying I am the person who knows what is has been like, unlike you.

So listen good Chuck and listen well because I'm not going to repeat this.

You're wondering why Blair isn't with me? You're asking yourself when she'll come? Well let me give you an answer to that question: SHE WON'T. NEVER EVER. Because she can't. She'll never come around again; you'll never hear her voice or her laughter again. You'll never see her smiling unless you take a look at some old photos. And do you know why she won't come around again? No, you don't because you never gave a damn about her. Okay you called; you wanted to talk to her… so what? That you could hurt her again? No Chuck I didn't let you… and now I am kind of glad that I didn't because she was at least a bit happy. So you don't know why you'll never see her again, right?

Let me tell you… "

"Serena", Audrey interrupted her godmother. "Don't." She saw Serena's furious face expression and she knew that she was willing to do anything to hurt her father.

But unlike Serena Audrey had noticed how Chuck's face fell when he had heard that Blair would never come around again, unlike Serena Audrey could see that her father had loved her mother.

Call it wishful thinking… but Audrey was 100% sure about that.

"No Audrey, I guess you have to protect him but it's too late. He has to know."

She focused on Chuck again, who had followed her speech silently.

He starred at her with wined eyes; she could even see some tears in his deep brown eyes.

All suddenly she was all calm again because maybe he knew what it's been like just in another kind of way.

Serena sighed. "Chuck" she started softly.

"I have something for you, you need to read it. This is not my explanation to make."

She reached into her black Channel back and searched for Blair's letter.

When she finally found it, she closed her eyes briefly then she handed it to Chuck.

"This is for you" she told him. "You'll probably hate me when you finished reading it, but you have to know that –no matter what I just have said- I'll never hate you."

She turned around, gripped Audrey's hand and pulled her out of the room.

Chuck was left alone in the big room, sitting on one of the precious mahogany chairs.

He starred at the envelope in his cold hands. It looked old, but I had never been opened before.

He starred at the single world that was written on the front side, it was nearly faded.

_Chuck

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_

**TBC

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**

Again, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. I'll try to update asap. And then Chuck will finally know everything. So please keep patient.

As always:

_**If you want more - review :D**_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**: I just typed this up and I didn't overread this so sorry for the mistakes but I was soooo **busy.**

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**Reviews**: I have to cut this really short because I am just about to leave again, so **sorry I can't reply** because I should be already out of this door. But I didn't want you to wait anylonger. **Sorry**. Just know how much I** appreciate** all of **your reviews**. You guys totally rock :) and your reviews keep me writing so please keep them up. And I once again apologize. Blame my geography teacher, okay? :D Oh and** I'll reply to the next ones a usual** this is just a one time thing.

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Happy Readings!

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**Chapter 12**

If somebody would have ever told Chuck Bass that he would be afraid to open a letter, he wouldn't have believed them either. But then again he believed barely anyone because to believe is a question of trust and Chuck didn't trust anyone.

Except that single person who he trusted a long time ago, who he gave his heart and who broke it.

He learned his lesson, he felt hard so he would never believe anyone again, and he learned that trust was for other people but not for him.

So right now he was left alone in one of the huge rooms of the Palace hotel starring at that classy envelope in his hands and all he could think about was her.

"Damn it!" he sighed and ripped it open.

A single piece of white paper flew out of it and landed on the floor, he stopped down and picked it up; as he took a look at the handwriting he recognized it immediately. The exclusive swings of the g; it was just like Blair, clear but somehow mystery.

He really missed her… it was hard for him to admit that but truth be told he missed her, like her had missed nothing else in his entire life.

He took one last deep breath because he knew that breathing would be hard as soon as he would have started to read the letter.

* * *

_Chuck,_

_You must feel confused right now… getting a letter from someone you don't even know anymore. After 15 years of absence this is the first proof of life from me…Well at least I hope it's 15 years later because then everything I tried plan would have worked out._

_Well, I said this is a "proof of life" but it's actually isn't._

_I don't even know how to say this… I mean this is just as strange for me as it is for you… maybe it's even worse. But I got to do this… I've been running away from it too long._

_Just as I've been running away from you and me and everyone else in this goddamn city._

_But what I've learned while running away from myself is that you can't run away from yourself._

_Confusing, huh? _

_You can't run away from yourself because no matter where you're running to you'll always meet yourself, which is why I have to do this because the place where I'm running to is my final destination. I can't keep running away because there's no chance that I can turn back. _

_When you get this letter Chuck, I'll be dead. That sounds to weird talking this way about myself._

_I've been thinking about how to write this letter for so long, I tried to find the perfect beginning and every time I read through the words I just had written I thought: "No, that's wrong." And started all over again. _

_And now look at this, all I can do is talking about myself… I've always done that, I am selfish but maybe I haven't been enough selfish at all._

_Yes, I really am confusing… I don't even understand myself._

_But this letter is not about me, well parts of it are but there is actually another person who is much more important right now._

_When I said that I'm dead I meant it. It was not some kind of sick joke, it's the truth._

_Do you remember the day I came to you because I had no one to turn to? Well I guess you do. _

_You said you didn't want me anymore. It hurt so badly. It was being kicked when you're already down, I couldn't defend myself anymore so I had to leave. You were my last hope and you let me down._

_I am not blaming you Chuck, how could I? It was my fault after all…_

_I'm just saying. And believe me when I say that admitting this is hard for me… but it doesn't matter anymore does it? I don't care anymore if I show my feelings._

_I have feelings and you hurt me, if I would have known how relieving admitting these feelings is I would have done it a long, long time before. _

_But as I said this letter is not about me._

_You were my last hope because you were right no one else wanted me anymore. And I knew that was going to last a while and I didn't have time to fix my life at least not without your help._

_You were my last hope because I' pregnant._

_And it isn't Nate's. I know that. I know how hard it's for you to trust people Chuck but please trust me. There's no reason I would lie to you. So trust me when I say that I'm pregnant with your child._

_I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to tell you when you didn't want me anymore… so I did what worked so well for Serena, I run away._

_But Chuck, that isn't everything._

_And I know that you must be scared right now… I know that because I am, too._

_But that is not everything. The doctors… they say that… that there might be complications._

_Major complications. _

_And I don't know what will happen but if anything happens to me my father will give this letter our daughter on her 15__th__ birthday. And if she decides to search you she'll give you this letter. I guess she already gave it to you if you're reading it right now._

_Oh my god, I wish I could see her grow up. _

_But if it's true what the doctors say and I'll die I want you to take care of my little girl._

_I assume she isn't so little anymore. And Chuck?_

_I know you're furious right now… upset about the fact that I kept her away from you but I have my reasons. Believe me. I want her to be happy and I don't you to hurt her. _

_Not as you hurt me. I really loved you, Chuck._

_And I think if all would have worked out we might be happy today. _

_Please don't blame Serena or my dad or anyone else this was my entire plan, my last plot. There's no one else to blame._

_Just me and maybe you if you feel guilty for what you did to me… but then again I think I should thank you, you changed my life for better and for worse, that sounds strange but it's the truth._

_You made me realize how much I wanted this baby you were the one who left me no options and I really have to thank you for that without you I would have made the wrong decision._

_So thank you Chuck for ruining my life, the life I accepted so long ago, my perfect life, __and the one I never really wanted._

_Thank you, Chuck. There are no words to explain how thankful I am and there are also no words to explain how much I despise you._

_This is such a crazy world but if I really have to leave I'll at least know that I did my job and that my daughter won't be left alone._

_Get to know her Chuck, give her a chance she deserves it and if Serena did her job as well as I thought she did you'll love her because she is a great girl, how could she not without us as her parents?_

_Well, okay maybe I should rather ask: How can she with us as her parents… but I know that she is a great girl, a mother feels that._

_We are corrupted in every way that possible, Chuck. But I won't let this happen to her, she'll grow up in France with Serena and my father by her side and she'll be a happy child until it's time to let her know who she is. _

_Until it's time to let her know who you are._

_I know that you'll be furious but I have my reasons, I think I did the right thing._

_Believe me when I say that I loved you, Chuck._

_Maybe in another lifetime…_

_Blair

* * *

_

Chuck Bass sat in that huge room in the famous Palace Hotel and all he could think of was what the fuck had happened to his life.

Suddenly the reason that holds it all together wasn't there anymore; was dead.

Like a soap-bubble…

When you're little you think they will make up their way to the clouds, to heaven.

And when they're there they'll great the one person you know up there.

But then all of a sudden it bursts.

You wonder what happened, it wasn't supposed to turn out like this, it wasn't suppose to happen; it was simply not what you intended not what you planned.

Yeah, his life with Blair was just like a soap-bubble you watch it fade away and suddenly it bursts. And there's nothing you can do.

_Blair…_

That name had been a part of his life for forever and suddenly she should be dead. He couldn't believe it. It was lie. It had to be lie, how could something that bad be true…

It was a total lie, he refused to accept it.

But then again, why would lie to him. She had never lied to him in any way she couldn't he knows her to well, he reads her like an open book.

"_Read",_ he corrected himself. There was only a past tense. No present anymore, not with her.

And this girl, the one with her eyes… was she really his daughter?

She looked a lot like Blair…

Those hazel eyes, the hazel eyes he will never ever see again, the ones he knows he'll miss.

He'll miss her, her laughter, her voice, their plots all of it. Because his life isn't complete without her just as her life wasn't complete without him.

It was his fault.

If he had let her go, if he would stay by her side when she went through all of this, if he would never sent Gossip Girl that awkward blast everything would be the way it was supposed to be. He would be with Blair now; they would have raised their daughter together.

They would be happy.

Just as they were supposed to be.

And suddenly Chuck knew that he killed her, that there was no one to blame but himself. Yes, maybe Blair said that he wasn't the one responsible. But he knew that he was the one responsible. HE KILLED HER, as he killed his mother.

As he killed himself.

He was dying inside without her, he was nothing and she had been his only hope.

He killed her and that would kill him.

Suddenly he noticed that his hands were shaking that he couldn't breath it seemed like all of his guilt clogged his throat. It seemed like he was about to die.

But this wasn't his time.

He had a duty; he had to take care of the daughter she had left him.

And he was ready to take care of her but not right then because at that particularly moment it was too much for him to handle so he felt to the floor and started to cry, like a child like the wounded boy he was inside.

It had been a while since he had cried this way; it had been 15 years ago.

* * *

**15 years ago: **

Chuck Bass sat at the one of the bars in Midtown when his cell phone vibrated. He intended to get himself drunk so drunk that he could bland out that voice that was ringing over and over in his head.

"_Game's over"_

It was over; there was no point in fighting anymore. He was done with her. At least that was what he tried to tell himself; maybe he would believe it… hopefully in the next 20 years.

So when his cell vibrated he opened the text immediately, it could be her. Not that he did care about that…

_Gossip Girl_

Ugh. That bitch again what would she destroy this time? His heart maybe?

He snapped for air when he read through the text.

* * *

**Spotted:**

**B and S at the helipad having a heart to heart. What is this about? Is B really leaving? Where is she flying to? When will she come back and the most important question: What will Chuck Bass say about it?"

* * *

**

What the hell? What was this? A sick joke? As if he would believe it. Blair would never leave New York, it was her home.

Well he wasn't sure if you could call it a "home."

But she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to her friends.

_She has no friends left because you took them away from her..._

No, this couldn't be true, this couldn't be happening...

it just couldn't.

Then he noticed another unopened text.

* * *

**Help!**

**She is leaving. I need you now!**

**S.

* * *

**

NO! It was really true? No... that was impossible but if Serena said it... why would she lie to him? He would find out eventually. So there was no reason about lying to him.

So it must be true.

FUCK!

He rushed out of the bar without paying.

When he was finally at the airport he didn't see them anymore.

"Thank god" he sighed because he thought that Serena persuaded her into staying. But then his phone was vibrating again. He didn't expect anything bad, he expected good news. He was sp wrong.

* * *

**Gossip Girl here again.**

**It seems like B really did leave. What's wrong with you B? You were my ideal... and now you left without a good cat fight? Shame on you! Well she'll be back, the queen always comes to claime her thrown. The question is how long can she stay away?

* * *

**

She was gone... gone.

Like in GONE.

And suddenly Chuck didn't care who could saw him, who would post anything about him on Gossip Girl. He didn't care about that fact that he wasn't supposed to show his feelings.

He just cried for the girl he had loved and for him because she had left him without even looking back.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

Short I know but please leave a **review if you want more.**

Thank you :)


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**** PLEASE READ: ** Okay, I know I haven't been updating in like forever and I just got to say that I am truly sorry but real life was so stressful in the past month and I had to focus on it so I could fix some things I am not completely done, yet. Furthermore I broke my hand so tipping is painful and I don't exactly know where to go with this story so I would be very thankful for any suggestions you guys have. Thank you!

And thanks for being so understanding.

* * *

**Teddy bear**: I am so sorry! You sounded so hopeful for a soon update and now all I can say is: I am sorry. I know I only have lame excuses but believe me that I honestly wanted to update sooner. Thank you I am glad that you like the chapter and hope that you noticed all those details I really worked hard on it.

Yes, Nate is going to be in the story. I hope you don't mind? And yeah, Ed is such a great actor.

**Karina: **I hope you didn't fail in your exams ;) I've got to say I failed in my maths exam… thank you for the great review, and yeah they'll be definitely more flashbacks. Nate+Serena=endgame (at least for me) :D

**Twix: **Thanks for not giving up on me and kicking my ass to continue writing. It really means a lot to me and I guess it kind of helped a lot.

**Tiffany Tam: **Thank you so much! I am super glad you liked it that much and believe me when I say that I love you for reviewing :D:D:D

**Roni: **Thank you and sorry that you had to wait so long.

**R****affy: **I won't let you die! But I am sorry that it took so long. But thanks for telling me to continue. It helped a lot.

* * *

Happy readings!

* * *

**Chapter 13**** (part one)**

What do you do when you'll meet your daughter? A daughter who is already a teenager?

What do you feel? How do you act?

Questions, more questions, nothing but questions.

I don't know anything particular about how you feel when you meet your 15 year old daughter but what I do know is how Chuck Bass felt when he realized he had just met her.

His head was spinning and he felt like he had just entered a movie theatre, watching a film which leading character looked a lot like himself, he spoke like himself, he even acted like himself.

He watched a movie that was about him, starring people he knew and one girl he had never met before. That girl was his daughter.

But one person was missing in the cast of his very own movie.

The woman he loved, the woman he had loved since the first time he saw her and the woman he'll love forever.

And they say Chuck Bass wasn't a romantic…

But how could he say that he would love her forever … she was dead, she was dead and it was his fault.

_His fault…_

But this wasn't the time to drown in self-pity.

There was something or someone he had to take care of first.

**

* * *

  
**

Audrey and Serena sat in one of the huge, exclusive rooms in the palace hotel. They were both silently starring at the floor as if they were trying to do anything but thinking about the man who was sitting in a room not so far from the one they were sitting in.

"He's going to kill me…" Serena finally broke the silence.

"He's not… but he hates me" Audrey replied, he would blame her for her mother's dead. She knew he would.

"Audrey, you're his daughter he doesn't hate you. It's in your DNA. He can't hate you."

"He does, I can see it in his eyes…" It was true she saw the hate burning behind his eyes. He didn't knew that she was his daughter, he didn't knew that she was the reason he had never had a chance to fight for Blair and he had already hated her just because she looked like her mother.

Tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks again but she was sick and tired of being so weak, she couldn't take it any longer.

"I have to get out of here" she choked out and with that she was out of the room, nearly stumbling over her own feet because even though she tried hard the tears blinded her view.

* * *

Damien Baizen wasn't a boy who chased after girls, usually the girls chased after him. So he had been more than confused when the petit brunette girl had run away from him.

Who did she think she was?

She was completely different from the girls he knew. She had a sense of humour and from what he saw; she was also a little bitch. After all she hit his spine, no other girl had done that before and truth be told he liked that.

It was a nice change. The girls he knew were all very uptight and worried about their reputations but she didn't seem like she really cared what other people would say about her, she did what she wanted to do and he admired that about her. He did what he wanted to do, either.

His reputation was already bad; it couldn't get much worse so he had nothing to lose.

He was the son of Georgina Sparks and Carter Baizen his parents had met in rehab and after Georgina gave birth to him his grandparents had raised him.

When he was about four years old his parents got back together and after the wedding he moved in with them.

Everyone expected him to be bad, he was named after the spawn of Satan, how could he not be evil? And his parent's reputations were ruined as well they were just invited to social events because they were old money; they were members of the group even though no one trusted them.

And he as their son was meant to be just like them, he had to be like them. He was just a chip of the old book.

And even though he wasn't so sure of that himself he had to be… when everyone said that he was, how could he not be?

He was lost in his thoughts until a small figure ran through the lobby he was sitting in.

It was the girl from before… that girl that clouded up his mind just seconds ago.

He could see that she was crying.

Without thinking he got up and ran after her.

Well, well as I said Damien Baizen didn't chase after girls… rumour says that Audrey Waldorf is the one to change that.

* * *

Chuck entered the room next to the one he had just left and there he found the person he was searching for.

"Chuck" Serena stood up as she watched her stepbrother walking up to her.

"Serena" he said calm. To calm…

Serena noticed that, she knew Chuck was furious. She had known that since the moment she had sworn Blair to never tell Chuck. She knew it… She had been caught between two stools.

She had been caught between her dead best friend who she owned everything and her brother who she knew was suffering.

She had chosen her best friends. She had done it with a heavy heart, though. It had been one of the hardest decisions in her life… maybe it had even been the hardest one.

She didn't know.

"Chuck" she repeated. "I am so sorry."

And all of a sudden she could see it, the furious glimmer in his hazel eyes.

"So you're sorry?" he asked; his voice still calm.

"I am", she replied, "You have no idea how hard it's been these past years. Missing you, Blair, my mom, Eric, Nate… and doing the right thing. And of course, I had to raise Audrey… " she stopped when she noticed that he was shaking.

"I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT'S BEEN?" he shouted. "HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S BEEN FOR ME? EASY? I watched Blair leaving, I called like a motherfucking hundred times and all you ever said was: "She doesn't want to talk to you, Chuck. I am sorry." YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SERENA? FUCKING MAD. BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON I TRUSTED. I THOUGHT YOU'D TELL ME IF SOMETHING WOULD EVER HAPPEN TO HER… and all you did was remaining silent about her, about her and her life. And now that you're back you tell me that she's dead since bloody 15 years!" He finished out of breath.

Tears were streaming down Serena's cheeks. She had known he would say that. She had known that he would react like this. It was the reason she was so scared to meet him again. He would blame her for his suffering and the worst thing was that she knew he was right to do so.

She was the reason he had never had a chance to meet his daughter until now and all because she had promised Blair not to tell him anything.

Maybe had been wrong to keep silent but Serena had always thought that she owned Blair.

"Chuck…" she pleaded.

"Oh no don't "Chuck" me, Serena. It's enough. Leave! GO TO HELL!"

With that he stormed out of the room, slamming the massive wooden doors furiously.

* * *

Damien reached out and touched Audrey's shoulder.

"Hey" he whispered. "Are you alright?"

She turned around in shock and mustered him quickly.

"You" she spat out and flinched back.

"You came to tell me that meeting you here is my destiny? And that we'll marry and have two beautiful kids that I'll raise while you'll be cheating on me with your secretary?"

"No" Damien said. "I came to ask you if you were alright."

What was wrong with him? Why was he so genuine? He wasn't a nice person. Or was he? That was beside the point. Why did he even care what was wrong with her? He had just met her… her problems shouldn't matter to him. The problem was that they did.

"I'm fine."  
"No, you're not."  
"How would you know that?"

"Because you don't cry if you're fine. So tell me what happened."

"No… I… I can't."  
"Then tell me what you're doing here, I've never seen you before."

She smiled a sad smile. That somehow reached his heart.

_Damn it! _ He thought.

"That because I am not from her. I am from France. And I can't tell you what I am doing her because that would lead immediately to my problem."

"It's okay." He padded her shoulder carefully.

"So you're from France… tell me how is it there" he elegantly changed the subject.

She laughed a bit.

"It is great, very beautiful and very different from here. This town… it's like another world."

"I know what you mean. I moved here when I was about 7 years old. My grandparents raised me and they live in Connecticut. I was used to endless fields and horses and when I came here all I saw were skyscrapers and limos. It's pretty scarring, especially when you're just a kid."

"Are you sure that you're the same person from a little while ago?" she teased him.

He laughed and showed her his perfect white tees.

"I guess so, but maybe you changed me in our brief conversation" he mocked her.

"Oh shut up, idiot" she winked at him.

"I am Damien" he said and shacked her hand formerly.

"I am…" but she didn't have the time to finish her sentence."

"Audrey", she couldn't finish the sentence because Chuck Bass did that for her instead.

"I need to talk to you" he looked down at her with sad eyes that were wined.

Audrey couldn't say anything, she just starred at him an eternity later (at least if felt like that to her) she nodded, took the hand he offered her and with his help she stood up, her knees were shaking.

"Okay" she muttered nervously.

* * *

**TBC -SOON

* * *

**

I know it's awful short but therefore I promise there'll be a update soon. It's like one chapter cut into two pieces but at least you didn't have to wait longer for an update. Please review and help me or just tell me what you liked/didn't like it encourages me to write.

* * *

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Okay, I guess I deserved the lack of reviews but please don't let me suffer and help me! :D

But thanks to those of you who reviewed anyway.

* * *

**Karina: **I really hope your exams went well mine went okay. So thanks for the review and I am glad you like Audrey/Damien together.

**Teddy Bear: **Wow, that was a review! Thanks I know it's so great! Oh you got your grades? Well I guess Damien is a good guy but why does it mean he can't be like Chuck, either?

Thanks for the wonderful review you helped a lot.

**Tiffany Tam****: **I am afraid I have to tell you that the father/daughter conversation won't be what you think it'll be but the touching part will come late, promise!

Thank you!

* * *

**Happy readings!**

* * *

**Chapter 14 (**_or should I say Chapter 13 part two?_**)**

**15 years ago

* * *

**

Blair and Serena had been in France for only two month but Blair was already depressed.

She couldn't stand her father's villa anymore, she had just to get out and fortunately Harold Waldorf had thought that would be a good idea, at least he didn't have to deal with her infamous meltdowns while she was relaxing herself.

It was not that he didn't love his daughter, he did, and he loved her very much. She was his daughter, how could he not love her, she was a part of him.

But he was a man and his little girl had become a woman and truth be told he had never really understood woman. He hadn't understood his ex-wife and he most likely would never understand his daughter or any other woman. And he was sure that Serena was the right company for his poor daughter that was troubled by pregnancy hormones.

Maybe she would talk to Serena because unfortunately she hadn't talked to him, yet.

_She'll come to you when she's ready _was all he thought about her situation and he knew it was true she would talk to him eventually. She just wasn't ready yet…

So the both girl stood in front of the Ritz in Berlin, they had visited the city and the "Brandenburger Tor" as those German people called it.

They had visited the loosely pieced of the infamous Berlin wall and had spent a few nights in full clubs, they didn't drink anything and they didn't really enjoy it, either but it was what they used to do.

"Maybe we should go to a spa or so" Serena had suggested when Blair and she had come at 2 in the morning an unusually time for the girls to come home.

"Admit, partying while pregnant or with a pregnant friend is just no fun" Blair whispered, starring at the ceiling.

"Blair, we're just not in the mood to party that's not your fault. And besides maybe a few quite days are exactly what we need, don't you think?"

"Maybe…"

"So what do you think about spending a few days in a luxury spa? I'll let my Mom pay, maybe Bart will let Bass Industries pay." She laughed happily.

But Blair kept silent, she just continued to stare at the ceiling and suddenly Serena noticed what she had said "_Bass Industries" _as in Chuck Bass.

"I am sorry" she muttered.

Blair turned her head and looked at Serena with sad eyes.

"It's okay" she mumbled "I guess his name shouldn't hurt me that much. It's just a name… isn't it?"

She laid her head on Serena's stomach and drifted off to sleep. Serena had always admired that about Blair, she just had to close her eyes and all of a sudden she was deeply asleep.

"It's just a name" Blair said in her sleep her voice barely hearable. Then she sighed heartbreaking. "Chuck…" Serena didn't know that that breathtaking sigh would follow her, her entire life.

That had happened the previous evening as already mentioned now the girls stood in front of the Ritz giving up their stuff so they could drive to a spa somewhere on the countryside.

* * *

When they stood in front of their cab, Blair dropping an arm protectively in front of her stomach, a limo with dark tinted windows passed and the person inside of the limo immediately turned around. One of the girls, the petit brunette one had caught his view.

_Blair…?_

Chuck Bass thought as he turned around to muster the two women in front of the Ritz but his driver had already passed by and all he could see was long blond hair that disappeared into a yellow cab.

A taxi as it was known in Germany.

"Follow that car" he told this driver.

"Which car, Mr Bass?"

"That taxi… äh I mean cab."

Was he really stuttering? Oh my…

"As you with, Mr Bass", he replied politely.

But inside he was laughing of his young chef. Where did this boy live? In some kind of ancient action film?

Oh yeah right, he came from Manhattan and he knew very well that if you were raised on the Upper East Side you couldn't be any good or normal.

Chuck was rolling his eyes about himself, either. All he had to see was a petit brunette girl about her age who was accompanied by a tall blonde one and he forgot everything else and just headed after those two particularly girls without even knowing if it truly was them.

This was Berlin for god's sake!

What would she be doing her anyway? There was nothing that bounded her to this city, nothing that meant anything to her but then again there was also nothing for him, not a fucking thing that he cared about… but he was Chuck Bass. There was nothing he really cared about… nothing and no one. A few months ago he had told Nate that he cared about three things. _Look, I care about three things Nathaniel, money the pleasure money brings me and you." _He had lied then because he had recognized that there was one person he cared about more than he cared about all of those three things together.

But that had been months ago, that had been before everything had changed. For worse.

He hadn't been happy then but he didn't care that he wasn't happy he had accepted that he was not one to be happy. He had accepted that being privileged wasn't just a mercy it was also a curse. It was both at the same time.

But suddenly he had learned how it felt to be immensely happy and only seconds after that he had learned how it feels to lose everything.

Nothing had changed his life was still the same the difference was that he had seen how beautiful life could be and after losing her, losing what had made his life that beautiful he couldn't stand his life anymore. Finally he saw how cowardly he was and he tried to change he wanted to become worthy of her and the luck he was longing for but he failed. Maybe he just wasn't meant to be happy maybe he was marked for loss and hate maybe he was just the true definition of a jinx. So he returned to his old life, he returned to the life he had appreciated just weeks ago but suddenly it wasn't enough. His life had remained the same but he hadn't. He had tried to change and truth be told he did. All the things he had approved of his old life they didn't mean anything to him anymore… he was blinded by the light she had brought in his life and suddenly everything was dark, every color had turned grey and all he wanted was to see the colors again.

_What the hell is wrong with you? _Chuck thought after he rethought the last thought. _You want to see the colors again? Ew, that's sound like a line of a really bad chick flick. _He shivered in disgust.

_And you know what's worst… that's it is real. _

"Sir? I'm afraid we lost the car. There's just too much traffic here and way too many cabs" the voice of his driver interrupted his thoughts.

"It's okay" Chuck said in totally unlike Chuck Bass manor.

"I guess, it's better that way anyway", he added.

But wasn't so sure about that himself.

* * *

**15 years later**

Oh my god, oh my god… was all Audrey thought as Chuck Bass (or should she think about him as her father?) leaded her to a private room.

He was her father somehow… she had never had another one just as she never had a mother. Of course Serena had been sort of her mother but Audrey had always known that she wasn't her real one.

Serena had been the one she run to when she was hurt. She was the person who always listened to her no matter what happened, with Serena Audrey bought her very first bra and with her she visited each of her doctors. She had been the one who called the school when Audrey was ill.

She did all of the things a mother was supposed to do but she wasn't Audrey's mother.

That didn't change the fact that Audrey still loved her like a mother, there was enough space in her heart. Space for the mother she had never known and space for the woman who had tried to replace the exactly that mother.

What it was different with her father… father that was a strange word. She had heard it a million times, had used it several times but she had never thought about it that way.

She mustered the man who was walking next to her, that man she barely knew but who was connected to her in a strong way. His destiny was connected with hers. She shivered as she thought the word "destiny". _Maybe it's your destiny._

She pushed the thought of Damien and their _destiny _aside and concentrated again on her life.

Why had she even wanted to change her life? It had been good. Okay, there had been something missing but she had had everything a 15 year old teenage girl could ask for. The one thing missing was her father and of course her mother but she had accepted the fact that she'd never have a real mother a while ago. As mentioned before she had had Serena that was great that was enough at least for her. And all the things she had had hadn't been enough of course she had needed to have everything.

Message to Audrey: You can't have everything.

That's not possible. There's always something missing, accept that, please.

_Now it's too late, _she thought.

When they stopped in front of a dark mahogany door she read the number on it.

**1812

* * *

**

1812 what a fateful number, what a coincidence. Or wasn't it?

In 1812 a lot of things happened, some of them had been spoken about some other had been kept a secret. But in that suite had been happening a lot of things that remembered Chuck of Blair.

"_Better a broken nose than a broken heart" _he had told Nate years ago. Damn had he been wise when he had been younger. He had been so right, a broken nose could heal within weeks it was painful but it got better and better, you could be sure of that.

A broken nose would always heal at least if you had the best doctor in the bloody entire world.

But a broken heart was another thing it was painful, too that's the things that both of these diseases both of this injuries have in common but it was far more painful than a broken nose and the worst thing about a broken heart was that it took an awful lot of time for it to get better.

With a broken heart you suffer from everything that remembers you of the lost person and the time you spend with your former soul mate.

Yeah, he had been very wise a broken nose was always better than a broken heart the only thing good about a broken heart was the fact that you had had a great time with the person you had just lost because otherwise you wouldn't miss her that much.

Yeah, that's the only thing good but for this good thing it's worth to suffer when it's over and done with.

That might sound masochistic but he'd say it was worth it.

* * *

"So…" Chuck started as they entered the suite.

"So…" Audrey replied awkwardly.

Maybe they were truly alike.

"That means…" Chuck tried again.

"That…"

"Uhm…"

"I assume…"

"You're…"

Audrey rolled her eyes, okay this was getting really weird, of course she was also simply overwhelmed but hello she finally wanted to go on with everything.

So she said: "You're my father".

Chuck just stood their starring at her with sad eyes and somehow she thought that if he would be alone he'd have started to cry but he wasn't alone she was with him so he wouldn't start to cry, not in front of her.

"I guess."

That was all he could say to her.

She didn't reply anything just kept starring at him; he hadn't changed much of course he was older than on the photos her aunt had shown her and he sort of lost that smirk in his eyes but he still was a handsome man and she could understand why her mother had fallen for him.

But to her he was just a stranger and she would need some time to get to know him.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked carefully.

Maybe he should ask her to live with him; she was his daughter after all.

"Auntie S and I are staying at Lily's and I think I should go looking for her…"

Chuck interrupted her immediately.

"I don't think that's a good idea, you'll stay with me. I assume Serena left anyway."

"She left?!" Audrey asked confused. "What where did she leave to?"  
"Back to France I guess?" Chuck said.

"No, no!" Audrey shook her head.

"She wouldn't leave me! She promised never to leave and she wouldn't break that promise.

She couldn't… Why did she do that to me?"

She stormed quickly out of the room and yelled: "Serena!"

Chuck ran after her and reached out to hold her back. But she tried to fight his strong arms.

"Serena!" she yelled again. "Serena! Serena!" Tears were streaming down her cheeks and blinded her.

"Serena!" she shouted one last time then she collapsed on the floor.

"Audrey, come on stand up. You have to get out of here" he tried to lift her up but she hold onto the floor screeching her nails into the ground.

Then, all of a sudden, she looked up to him.

"Did you talk to her?" she wanted to know.

He didn't say anything, he didn't need to she could read the answer in his eyes.

"WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?"

He kept silent.

"WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?"

"I told her to leave and never come back" he answered low.

"You're ass, you're idiot…"

She was so furious that she didn't notice the two persons that made their way toward her and Chuck, so she continued.

"When my Mom asked me to give you a shot I thought why not maybe he changed everyone deserves a second chance and I really wanted to get to know my Dad. Well, I guess I just did, he's a total ass who doesn't care what he does to other people."

"What going on here?" asked a voice Audrey didn't know before Chuck could even open his mouth to reply.

"Nothing, Nate" This time Chuck was the quickest. "Stay out of my business."

_Nate? _Audrey thought. She looked at the person who had followed him, it was that Damien guy.

"You're Nate Archibald?" she asked him.

He looked at her weirdly. "I am. How do you know my name?"  
"My mom told me about you and my aunt did it, either" she explained.

"My name's Audrey Waldorf" she added. "I am…"

"…Blair's daughter" he finished the sentence for her.

She just nodded; she didn't know what else to say.

"But who is your…" Nate thought out loud, then he turned around focused Chuck.

"You!" he shouted.

And then he stormed to him picked his jacket and slammed him to the wall.

* * *

**TBC**_

* * *

_

**If you want more review. The more reviews I'll get the faster I'll write :D**

**I am still open to suggestions.**


	16. Chapter 16

Yes, I am actually back. It's been 6 months and here it is the next chapter of Unexpected Truths.

I thought I would never continue but thanks to **Christinie** who literally begged me to.

Thanks a bunch, this chapter is for you. And I am in great need for a beta, if anyone is interested **please **tell me.

* * *

Happy readings.

* * *

**Previously:**

"_You're Nate Archibald?" she asked him._

_He looked at her weirdly. "I am. How do you know my name?"  
"My mom told me about you and my aunt did it, either" she explained._

"_My name's Audrey Waldorf" she added. "I am…"_

"…_Blair's daughter" he finished the sentence for her._

_She just nodded; she didn't know what else to say._

"_But who is your…" Nate thought out loud, then he turned around focused Chuck._

"_You!" he shouted._

_And then he stormed to him picked his jacket and slammed him to the wall.

* * *

_

**Chapter 15**

Nate Archibald always had been quick-tempered. It was hard for him to calm down once the anger had risen up.

And one of the persons he tried to avoid as much as possible was Chuck Bass.

His former best friend was now his enemy. Nate couldn't stand the view of him, every time he looked in those hazel eyes of Chuck he saw Blair.

He didn't know why but he saw her and then there was this image.

The image of her and Chuck and they were together and happy.

They were happier than he had ever been with her.

They say you don't know a good thing until it's gone and Nate had learnt that lesson the hard way.

He had lost Blair once and as soon as he had figured out how hard it was to lose her he had tried everything to win her back and he succeeded and then when he found out that she had been with Chuck and that she had lost her bloody virginity to him he had broken up with her.

Little, did he know that he would want her back again.

"You!" he shouted and slammed Chuck to the wall.

"YOU BASTARD!" Nate spat in Chuck's face.

"How could you? She was my girlfriend! But of course you had to knock her up.

You would fuck a cow without giving a damn!"

"Nathaniel", Chuck hissed, "Could we talk about this without your hands around my neck?"

* * *

_Chuck stood in front of his limousine he talked with Anthony Goldberg about the latest Gossip Girl blast._

_Blair's pregnancy scare…_

"_I don't know who it was" he claimed as he heard footsteps behind him._

_Before he could turn around Nate had gripped his coat and slammed him onto his limousine._

"_Did you sleep with her, huh?" His best friend asked furiously._

_Chuck didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He could not._

"_You son of a bitch I could kill you."_

"_Look Nathaniel, we can talk about this without your hands around my neck" Chuck suggested as he saw the mad glimmer in his best friend's eyes. _

"_Did you really think you could do to Blair what you do to all those other girls?"_

…

"_She needed someone and I was there" Chuck tried to explain himself but he knew it was hopeless. Nate wouldn't listen to him, he didn't give a damn right now._

_He wanted revenge and the problem was that Chuck understood him completely. He wouldn't have felt any different._

"_You stay the hell away from me!" Nate Archibald yelled at his former best friend as he walked out of his life.

* * *

_

"This feels familiar…" Chuck said the first thing that came to his mind.

"You wanker!" Nate shouted and raised his hand to punch Chuck straight into his face.

"Guys it's enough!"

"Serena!" Audrey shouted in delight.

"Oh my god I am so happy that you're back!"  
"I am not back, Audrey. I came to say goodbye", her aunt told her.

"Serena", another voice chocked out, a voice that Serena van der Woodsen hadn't heard in 15 years, a voice that she had dearly missed.

"Nate" she replied low.

"It's good to see you."

"You too. You look well, but tell me where's Blair?"

It wasn't Serena who answered that question, it wasn't Audrey either, to their great surprise it was Chuck.

"She's dead."

The four people went silent, all lost in their own thoughts if they were disbelieving or full of regret.

"What?" Nate finally asked after a long moment. "What the fuck are you talking about? Is this one of your sick jokes again? You're a Bastard, Bass. Because the only person who's dead here is you, you're dead to me!"

"Nate", Serena reached out for him but he flinched as if her touch burned him, "Nate he's telling the truth."

"What?" Nate's eyes wined in shock. "What? Why? How?!"

"Nate..." Serena reached out for him a second time and this time she patted gently his shoulder.

"She died about 15 years ago", another small voice said and Nate looked closely at the petit person who spoke.

He had recognized her, he had known who she was, he had seen her in her but just as much as she resembled her mother she resembled her father.

That's why he had known that Chuck Bass had abandoned Blair in her greatest time of need, that's why he had known that HE had abandoned her, because he was too proud for his own good.

"She died when she gave birth to me. She knew it would happen", Audrey continued looking at her own feet. All she wanted to do was to disappear; she hadn't imagined it like this. This whole "family reunion" was a total disaster. Instead of the loving family she had hoped for she had found a father who was just as corrupted as her mother had told her in her letter.

"Audrey", Serena pulled her into a deep hug. "Stop blaming yourself. We're just going to go to the hotel and then we'll fly back to France."

Serena took Audrey's hand into hers and pulled her away.

"So you are going to act like nothing of this ever happened?" a deep male voice echoed through the room. "Well good luck, sis, but you'll never manage. And most importantly, I'll never manage. Do you really think you can keep away my daughter from me for 15 bloody years? Do you really think you can come here, tell me that the one person I've ever truly loved is dead and then just disappear again? Well, you thought wrong. I would have been there for her, S. But how could I, you didn't give me a chance, you didn't tell me she was going to die, you didn't even tell me that she was pregnant in the first place. So no matter, what you want to do, you're going to do what I want now. I think you owe me that much and I want to get to know my daughter."

He finally looked at Audrey as if he'd see her for the first time, as if he would see her for who she really was.

"If she wants to get to know me too", he finished at the verge of tears.

Audrey didn't know how or when it happened but during his speech something inside of her had suddenly snapped.

This was her father, the one person she had spent most time of her life thinking about and finally he was there and he hadn't left her because he hadn't loved her, he had never left and he had never known about her.

She believed him when he had told Serena that he would have been there for her mother and her, how could a girl not believe her father.

"Yes" she whispered and the same tears he was about to shed were shining in her eyes. "I'd love to get to know you, I'd love to do it more than anything."

And she took a few hesitant steps in his direction and before she knew how it had happened she was in his arms and buried her face in his chest.

With Nate holding Serena's hand while her aunt stoke over her head, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she was going to have a real family after all.

**

* * *

TBC

* * *

**

Well, this is it.

I hope there are still some people out there who are going to read this.

For those of you who do.

* * *

**Review. **Please.


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